If you’re not sick of hearing Diablo Cody this, hamburger phone that, then this week’s bonus-packed release of Juno should be numero uno on your list, home skillet. Otherwise, there’s plenty else to keep you company — bring home your very own Predalien, a guy with a blow-up doll, Uwe Boll’s latest, and Tila Tequila.


Juno


Tomatometer:
93%

Diablo Cody‘s Oscar-winning screenplay had all the zippy earmarks of a trailblazing hipster film — yes, Cody herself was a stripper (get over it, world!) who blogged her zany life and lip balm reviews all the way to fame, crafting her story of a wry teen protagonist named Juno into Oscar gold while single-handedly reviving the market for Sunny D and telephones shaped like hamburgers.

Bonus Features:

Juno‘s standard release is surprisingly well packed with goodies for all the home skillets out there craving more. Peep the commentary with director Jason Reitman and Cody, a “Cast and Crew Jam,” and 11 deleted scenes, including the “Café Triste” scene in which Juno performs a hilariously direct song about getting knocked up, then talks about her 8-minute song about Danny Trejo.


Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem


Tomatometer: 15%

Speaking of the miracle of life, after four Aliens, two Predators and one cross-over flick, we’ve now got the heretofore unthinkable: a Predalien! This time a whole new cast of relative unknowns and B-listers are caught between warring extraterrestrial races, in a gore-filled effects extravaganza that earned not one, but two Razzie nominations last year.

Bonus Features:

If you’re going to go for AVP:R, you might as well go big: pick up the unrated 2-disc release, which includes an additional seven minute runtime, commentary by special effects experts/former music video specialists-turned-directors the Brothers Strause, and a digital download copy of the film.




Lars and the Real Girl


Tomatometer: 80%

Now here’s a movie for all of you guys out there who dragged feet to The Notebook, or refused to see it at all — a Ryan Gosling flick in which he’s not some hunky romantic, but instead a socially-withdrawn, borderline-creepy romantic! Performances all around in this festival charmer garnered raves, but more importantly, Lars struck a chord with critics for its story of unconditional love and acceptance.

Bonus Features:

One deleted scene, a making-of video, and a gimmicky cast and crew featurette (in which everyone talks about Lars’ doll, Bianca, as if she is real) does not a fantastic DVD make…good thing the movie itself is why you’ll be picking up the disc.


Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead



Tomatometer: 88%

One of last year’s best thrillers came from one of America’s best living directors, Sidney Lumet (12 Angry Men, Dog Day Afternoon, Serpico), which should be reason enough to watch Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead. A violent, tragic tale of two brothers (Ethan Hawke, Philip Seymour Hoffman) who scheme to rob their parents’ jewelry store goes awry, the pic earned a place on no less than twenty critics’ top ten lists.

Bonus Features:

A film this good doesn’t really need a huge bonus menu to bolster its appeal; the DVD offers a full-length commentary by Lumet, Hawke, and Hoffman, a making-of documentary and the theatrical trailer. But it was also shot in high definition, and watching Devil on DVD allows for repeat viewings of Marisa Tomei’s steamy love scenes.


I Want Someone To Eat Cheese With



Tomatometer: 74%

Second City comedian Jeff Garlin wrote, starred in and directed this indie rom-com about a food-addicted comedian living with his mother and looking for love in Chicago. Sarah Silverman appears in an amusing turn as a bawdy, ice cream scooping “chubby-chaser.” Part of IFC’s First Take, IWStECW was released simultaneously on pay cable and in theaters.

Bonus Features:

Check out the director’s commentary for insights on how Garlin reportedly shot the entire feature over 18 days spread over a two-year span.


A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila



Tomatometer: N/A

Those crazy folks at MTV really outdid themselves when they gave Tila Tequila, MySpace’s most Friend Requested “musician,” her own dating show…in which both men and women compete for her bisexual affections! Even those of us who watched along during the nail-biting first season (spoiler alert: there will be a second season) will want to re-watch every scantily clad minute over again. Unrated and with more swearing!

Bonus Features:

Really, all ten episodes (plus the all-important reunion show) are their own reward, but owning A Shot At Love on DVD will give you the benefit of extended scenes, deleted scenes, and the ability to watch Brandi and Vanessa’s surprise double-elimination lesbian cat fight whenever you need it. By which I mean, daily.


In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale



Tomatometer: 2%

Yes, we saved the best for last. Uwe Boll‘s latest endeavor nabbed the likes of Jason Statham, Ray Liotta, Leelee Sobieski, Ron Perlman, and Burt Reynolds for a hokey medieval adventure unlike any other you’ve seen before. Statham plays a farmer called to fight evil orc-like creatures being controlled by…heck, all you need to know is that it garnered a two percent rating on the Tomatometer. Two percent. That’s out of 100.

Bonus Features:

Did you really expect any great bonus features on a release like this? Take it from someone who may have seen Dungeon Siege at midnight on opening day (for camp factor alone, of course): hammy performances from otherwise respectable actors abound, Liotta pins Statham in a fight with magical books, and ninjas inexplicably fall from the trees in this Middle Earth adventure rip-off. In twenty years, this will be a cult classic.

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