April is shaping up to be a pretty good month for movies, leading into the proper summer movie season. But if you’re afraid of big crowds, or you just feel like lounging at home all month in your unicorn snuggie (and who doesn’t?), then Netflix has a pretty good lineup waiting for you. As usual, the month is heavily frontloaded, with most of the interesting titles coming out on April 1, but see below for the full list.


L.A. Confidential (1997) 99%


Russell Crowe, Guy Pearce, Kevin Spacey, and Kim Basinger star in Curtis Hanson’s period noir about the criminal underworld of 1950s Los Angeles and the police of dubious morals who are called upon to investigate a multiple homicide with possible mob connections.

Available 4/1 on: Netflix


The Iron Giant (1999) 96%

Vin Diesel, Jennifer Aniston, and Harry Connick Jr. lend their voices to Brad Bird’s animated feature debut, about a large sentient robot who finds himself lost in a small Maine town in 1958 and befriends a young boy.

Available 4/1 on: Netflix


6 Balloons (2018) 86%

Dave Franco and Abbi Jacobson star in Marja-Lewis Ryan’s drama following a woman over the course of a night as she drives her heroin-addicted brother through LA, looking for a detox center.

Available 4/6 on: Netflix


Abacus: Small Enough to Jail (2016) 93%

This documentary centers on the Chinese immigrant family who owned and operated the Abacus Federal Savings bank in New York, the only bank to face criminal charges in the aftermath of the 2008 financial crisis.

Available 4/1 on: Netflix


Heat (1995) 87%

Al Pacino and Robert De Niro headline Michael Mann’s celebrated heist movie that centers on the cat-and-mouse game between a career criminal on his last job and the detective determined to catch him.

Available 4/1 on: Netflix


Scarface (1983) 82%

Al Pacino offers an unforgettable performance in Brian DePalma’s iconic drama about drug kingpin Tony Montana’s rise to power and eventual downfall.

Available 4/1 on: Netflix


Friday Night Lights (2004) 82%

Billy Bob Thornton stars in Peter Berg’s drama based on true events about a Texas high school football team’s struggles to win the state championship.

Available 3/1 on: Netflix


Seven (1995) 82%

Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman star in David Fincher’s thriller about a retiring detective who takes on a green partner in order to solve a series of grisly murders based on the Seven Deadly Sins.

Available 4/1 on: Netflix


Life Is Beautiful (1997) 80%

Roberto Benigni and Nicoletta Braschi star in Benigni’s dramatic comedy about a Jewish father who concocts elaborate stories to prevent his young son from learning the truth when his family is imprisoned in a Nazi concentration camp during World War II.

Available 4/1 on: Netflix


The Joel McHale Show With Joel McHale: Season 1 (2018) 83%

Joel McHale hosts this weekly series from Netflix that looks at news and pop culture from around the world, much in the same way that McHale previously did on Talk Soup.

Available 4/1 on: Netflix


Kodachrome (2017) 71%

Jason Sudeikis, Ed Harris, and Elizabeth Olsen star in this drama about a man who agrees to drive his dying father across the country in order to develop four rolls of Kodachrome film.

Available 4/20 on: Netflix


Sin City (2005) 77%

Robert Rodriguez’s Certified Fresh adaptation of the Frank Miller comic is a dark, grisly collection of interconnected pulp fiction starring Bruce Willis, Jessica Alba, and Mickey Rourke, and shot with a unique visual flair.

Available 4/1 on: Netflix


Una (2016) 76%

Rooney Mara and Ben Mendelsohn star in this drama about a young woman who seeks out an older man with whom she shared a relationship 15 years before that got him arrested and put in jail.

Available 4/1 on: Netflix


The Lost Boys (1987) 77%

Coreys Haim and Feldman, Jason Patric, and Keifer Sutherland star in this Joel Schumacher cult classic about a pair of brothers who become entangled in the world of local vampires after they move to a new town.

Available 4/1 on: Netflix


Sunshine Cleaning (2008) 74%

Amy Adams and Emily Blunt star in this comedy about a down-on-her-luck single mother who starts up a crime scene cleaning business with her sister.

Available 4/1 on: Netflix


Boys on the Side (1995) 74%

Drew Barrymore, Whoopi Goldberg, and Mary-Louise Parker star in this drama about three women who set out on a road trip from New York to California together.

Available 4/1 on: Netflix


Cold Mountain (2003) 70%

Nicole Kidman, Jude Law, and Renée Zellweger star in Anthony Minghella’s period drama that follows an American Civil War soldier as he travels home through Confederate territory to his beloved, a preacher’s daughter struggling to keep her family farm alive.

Available 4/1 on: Netflix


Fracture (2007) 71%

Ryan Gosling and Anthony Hopkins star in this psychological thriller about a hot-shot attorney who engages in a war of wits with the wealthy engineer he’s been tasked with defending in court for the murder of the engineer’s wife.

Available 4/1 on: Netflix


Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003) 69%

The third chapter of the Terminator saga, set 10 years after T2, follows John Connor (Nick Stahl) as he attempts to evade another assassin sent from the future, this time in the form of a woman (Kristanna Loken), again with the help of a T-101 (Arnold Schwarzenegger).

Available 4/1 on: Netflix


Cabin Fever (2002) 62%

Eli Roth’s cult favorite horror film centers on a group of college friends vacationing in the wilderness who begin to turn on each other when one of them becomes infected with a terrible, fast-acting sickness.

Available 4/1 on: Netflix


Kill the Irishman (2011) 62%

Ray Stevenson, Christopher Walken, and Vincent D’Onofrio star in this period crime drama based on the true story of Cleveland mobster Danny Greene, who battled the Italian mafia for control of the city during the 1970s.

Available 4/1 on: Netflix


Cube (1997) 64%

Vincenzo Natali’s high-concept sci-fi horror film follows six strangers who wake up to find themselves trapped in a system of cubes rigged with deadly mechanisms and must work together to find an escape. A prequel, Cube Zero, is also available to stream.

Available 4/1 on: Cube, Cube Zero


The Duchess (2008) 62%

Keira Knightley and Ralph Fiennes star in this biographical look at the Duchess of Devonshire, Georgiana Spencer, who captured the public’s heart and helped enact sweeping changes as a political leader.

Available 4/1 on: Netflix

This week on streaming video, we’ve got Michael Bay’s latest thundering installment of the Transformers franchise, Jon Favreau’s small but well-received dramedy, and a little seen thriller from Australia, as well as a handful of notable choices newly available to stream on Netflix. Read on for details:


Transformers: Age of Extinction
17%

Stepping into the lead role is Mark Wahlberg as Texan robotics expert Cade Yeager, who unwittingly comes into possession of a dormant Optimus Prime just as a secretive CIA task force is ramping up efforts to hunt down all rogue Transformers. When it becomes clear the government is colluding with a shady tech firm, Optimus rallies the remaining Autobots to storm their headquarters and uncover a larger conspiracy.

Available now on: Amazon, iTunes, Budu


Chef
87%

This Certified Fresh comedy, directed by and starring Jon Favreau, tells the story of a chef who quits his job at a swanky restaurant to operate a food truck.

Available now on: Amazon, iTunes, Vudu


Felony
70%

Joel Edgerton wrote, produced, and co-starred alongside Tom Wilkinson and Jai Courtney in this Australian thriller about three cops at odds with each other about how to proceed after an accident leaves a young boy in critical condition.

Available now on: iTunes


Breakfast at Tiffany’s
89%

Audrey Hepburn and George Peppard star in this bittersweet romantic comedy that has inspired thousands of Halloween costumes over the years.

Available now on: Netflix


About a Boy – Season One

David Walton stars in this TV adaptation of the 2002 film starring Hugh Grant (itself an adaptation of a Nick Hornby novel), about a singer whose bachelor lifestyle is interrupted by the presence of a new neighbor and her precocious son.

Available now on: Netflix


High Noon
95%

Gary Cooper and Grace Kelly star in Fred Zinnemann’s classic thriller about a marshal who finds himself taking on a gang of bandits alone.

Available now on: Netflix


Stardust
77%

Based upon Neil Gaiman’s fantasy novel and featuring an all-star cast, Stardust spins a tale of a young man who sets out to prove his love to the girl of his dreams by presenting her with a fallen star; he embarks on a journey through a forbidden kingdom, encountering witches, pirates, and other magical folks along the way.

Available now on: Netflix


Manakamana
96%

This visually stunning documentary documentary is about a cable car in Nepal that carries tourists and locals to a temple in the mountains.

Available now on: Netflix


The Duchess
62%

Keira Knightley stars as Georgiana Spenser, an ancestor of Princess Di’s, who becomes an 18th century style icon while navigating the rough waters of palace life.

Available now on: Netflix

The 35th annual People’s Choice Awards were handed out on January 7, 2009. A complete list of film nominees, with winners in bold, follows below.

Favorite Movie:
The Dark Knight

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Iron Man

Favorite Comedy Movie:
27 Dresses

Get Smart
Mamma Mia!

Favorite Movie Drama:
The Secret Life of Bees

21
Eagle Eye

Favorite Family Movie:
Wall-E
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Kung Fu Panda

Favorite Independent Movie:
The Secret Life of Bees

The Duchess
Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day

Favorite Action Movie:
The Dark Knight

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Iron Man

Favorite Cast:
The Dark Knight

Mamma Mia!
Sex and the City

Favorite On-Screen Matchup:
Christian Bale & Heath Ledger (The Dark Knight)
Shia LaBeouf & Harrison Ford (Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull)
Tina Fey & Amy Poehler (Baby Mama)

Favorite Male Movie Star:
Will Smith

Harrison Ford
Robert Downey, Jr.

Favorite Female Movie Star:
Reese Witherspoon

Angelina Jolie
Keira Knightley

Favorite Male Action Star:
Will Smith

Christian Bale
Robert Downey, Jr.

Favorite Female Action Star:
Angelina Jolie

Anne Hathaway
Cate Blanchett

Favorite Leading Man:
Brad Pitt

Christian Bale
Mark Wahlberg

Favorite Leading Lady:
Kate Hudson

Anne Hathaway
Queen Latifah

Favorite Superhero:
Christian Bale (The Dark Knight)
Robert Downey, Jr. (Tropic Thunder)
Will Smith (Hancock)

Source: People’s Choice Awards

This week at the movies, we’ve got suspicious spies (Body of Lies, starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Russell Crowe), gridiron greats (The Express, starring Rob Brown and Dennis Quaid), underground empires (City of Ember, starring Bill Murray and Tim Robbins), and deadly outbreaks (Quarantine, starring Jennifer Carpenter). What do the critics have to say?

Troubled times inspire troubled movies, and critics say Ridley Scott‘s espionage thriller Body of Lies is brainier and politically sharper than your typical spy yarn. However, others say it gets too bogged down in action scenes to totally hit its mark. Leonardo DiCaprio stars as Roger Ferris, a CIA operative who has tracked down a terrorist leader in Jordan; however, he must get approval from his boss, Ed Hoffman (Russell Crowe), as well as the head of the Jordanian Intelligence agency. Naturally, machinations and intrigue follow. The pundits say Body of Lies‘ impressive pedigree goes a long way toward redeeming the film; it’s well acted and expertly crafted. However, some critics feel the story is way too labyrinthine and scattershot to be emotionally involving. Body of Lies currently stands at 57 percent on the Tomatometer.


“Dude, for the last time, you are not the king of the world.”


The inspirational, tragic life of Ernie Davis was ready-made for cinematic treatment: the first African American player to win college football’s Heisman Trophy, Davis set rushing records — and battled racial prejudice — before succumbing to leukemia on the eve of turning pro. Critics say The Express is a worthy big-screen tribute to one of pigskin’s greatest heroes, overcoming formulaic biopic tropes with sincerity and excellent performance. Rob Brown stars as Davis, an extremely talented but apolitical young man thrust into the harsh glare of history, and Dennis Quaid plays Syracuse coach Ben Schwartzwalder, a man who changes as a result of his charge’s heroic perseverance. The pundits say The Express has plenty of solid gridiron action, and it exceeds typical inspirational sports movie fare with its heart and craft. At 65 percent on the Tomatometer, The Express sails through the uprights.


“I told you not to use auto-draft for your fantasy team!”

Set in a crumbling underground city that houses humanity after earth’s surface has become uninhabitable, City of Ember follows the exploits of two youngsters who find a magic box that provides clues on how to escape from the depths. The pundits say City of Ember has whimsy to spare, and should please younger viewers with its phantasmagorical imagery, but the plot is difficult to follow and character development is limited at best. At 46 percent on the Tomatometer, Ember doesn’t quite shine. (Check out this week’s Total Recall, in which we take a closer look at the best-reviewed films of star Bill Murray‘s career.)


“Zuul will never find me here…”

It seems that Keira Knightley stars in every other British period piece these days. And, as The Duchess demonstrates, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Knightley stars as Georgiana Spenser, an ancestor of Princess Di’s, who becomes an 18th century style icon while navigating the rough waters of palace life. The pundits say The Duchess is a visual treat, and Knightly and Ralph Fiennes turn in excellent performances. However, some feel The Duchess is too frothy and melodramatic, and forgoes the meaty parts of Spenser’s real-life contributions in favor of obsessing over her frippery and fashion. The Duchess is at 61 percent on the Tomatometer.


Keira Knightley’s 346th birthday party was a pretty gloomy affair.

Apparently out of concern for critics’ physical well-being, Quarantine has been, ahem, quarantined, since reviews aren’t coming out until the day of its release. The film stars Jennifer Carpenter and Steve Harris as a television crew trapped in an apartment building where a strange outbreak of rabies is causing people to commit savage killings. Kids, guess that Tomatometer!


“This one-woman protest isn’t having the impact I’d hoped for.”

Also opening this week in
limited release:

Finally, we’d like to sing the praises of halose7en, who correctly guessed An American Carol‘s 14 percent Tomatometer.

Recent Leonardo DiCaprio Movies:

Moviegoers were in the mood for suspense as the Samuel L. Jackson cop thriller Lakeview Terrace easily topped the North American box office beating out three new comedy openers. Dane Cook’s latest My Best Friend’s Girl disappointed, the animated pic Igor bowed respectably, while the Ricky Gervais starrer Ghost Town played to empty auditoriums. The debuting films joined forces for just $37M in ticket sales falling short of the $63M pumped in last weekend by that frame’s four-pack of new titles. Still, the top ten managed to match year-ago levels.

Sony scored its fifth number one opener of the year with Lakeview Terrace which debuted with a solid $15.6M, according to estimates. The PG-13 film about a veteran cop that terrorizes an interracial couple that moves in next door to him played in 2,464 theaters and averaged an impressive $6,331 per site. Produced for about $20M, Terrace connected with adult audiences despite stiff competition in the marketplace for mature moviegoers. According to studio research, 69% of the crowd was over 25 while 56% was female. For Jackson, it was a chance to flex some solo muscle at the box office as the film had no other stars in it. An effective marketing campaign by the studio’s Screen Gems unit also helped to deliver results. Reviews were not too positive, but ticket buyers instead responded to starpower and a good promotional push.




Last weekend’s number one film Burn After Reading held up well in its second frame. The caper comedy from the Coen brothers grossed an estimated $11.3M falling a reasonable 41% and lifted its ten-day cume to a solid $36.4M. The George Clooney-Brad Pitt pic enjoyed a smaller decline than those seen by other wide releases from the Oscar-winning filmmakers. 2003’s Intolerable Cruelty, which also starred the former Batman, dropped 48% in its second weekend while 2004’s Tom Hanks starrer The Ladykillers fell by 44%. Focus looks to ride Burn to the vicinity of $65M.

Dane Cook’s newest comedy failed to live up to the numbers posted by his previous efforts. The romantic comedy My Best Friend’s Girl, which also stars Kate Hudson and Jason Biggs, bowed to an estimated $8.3M from 2,604 theaters for a weak $3,187 average. That was a hefty 39% below the $13.7M of Cook’s Good Luck Chuck from this same weekend last year, and 27% behind the $11.4M debut of Employee of the Month from October 2006. All three were released by Lionsgate in roughly 2,600 locations. Girl carried an R rating and earned the same negative reviews the comedian routinely sees from critics.

Debuting to respectable results in fourth place was the new animated comedy Igor with an estimated $8M from 2,339 playdates. The PG-rated film averaged $3,425 and faced no competition in its quest for family audiences. Pre-release expectations were low since it is not based on any popular brand name property. The MGM release has no other kidpics to face next weekend so it may avoid the large drops seen by most other films.




Three sophomore titles followed. The Robert De Niro-Al Pacino cop flick Righteous Kill tumbled 53% in its second weekend to an estimated $7.7M ranking fifth. With $28.8M taken in across ten days, the Overture Films release should eventually reach $40-45M. Kill has already become the top-grossing film for the new distribution company which made a name for itself this summer with the indie smash The Visitor.




Tyler Perry’s latest hit The Family That Preys took a tumble in its second weekend falling 57% to an estimated $7.5M. The drop was nearly identical to the sophomore slides of 58% and 57% for past films Madea’s Family Reunion and Daddy’s Little Girls, respectively. Lionsgate has banked $28.4M in ten days with Family and should find its way to around $40M by the end of the run. Picturehouse witnessed a sharp decline for its chick flick The Women which fell 48% in its second outing to an estimated $5.3M. With $19.2M collected in ten days, the ensemble film could reach the neighborhood of $30M.

Good reviews meant nothing to the new Ricky Gervais comedy Ghost Town which opened poorly in eighth place with an estimated $5.2M. Averaging a mild $3,436 from a subdued wide release in 1,505 locations, the PG-13 film about a dentist that can see and speak to spirits also stars Greg Kinnear and Tea Leoni. The target audience of mature adults had many other options to choose from so competition was tough, plus Gervais has yet to prove himself as a box office draw who can sell tickets. The DreamWorks production was released by Paramount.




Warner Bros. spent its tenth weekend in the top ten with The Dark Knight which grossed an estimated $3M, off just 29%, for a towering $521.9M domestic total. Overseas, the gargantuan smash raised its cume to $455.7M giving the superhero blockbuster a stunning $977.6M worldwide. That puts Knight at number four on the all-time global blockbusters list after Titanic, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, and Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest which all topped the $1 billion mark. Bruce Wayne should become a box office billionaire in early October. Sony’s leggy hit The House Bunny rounded out the top ten dipping 33% to an estimated $2.8M pushing the cume to $45.7M.

September is when top distributors start rolling out their awards contenders and this weekend saw two of them generate sensational launches. Paramount Vantage unveiled the Keira Knightley costume drama The Duchess in seven theaters in New York and Los Angeles and grossed an estimated $203,000 for a sizzling $28,932 average. Attracting mostly good reviews, the PG-13 film will expand into the Top 20 markets this Friday. Warner Bros. rode into twice as many theaters with its Ed Harris-directed Western Appaloosa which collected an estimated $258,000. Averaging a sturdy $18,429 from 14 sites, the R-rated pic stars Harris, Viggo Mortensen, Renee Zellweger, and Jeremy Irons and will expand nationally on October 3.




The top ten films grossed an estimated $74.6M which was off only 1% from last year when Resident Evil: Extinction opened in the top spot with $23.7M; and down 3% from 2006 when Jackass: Number Two debuted at number one with $29M.

Author: Gitesh Pandya,
www.BoxOfficeGuru.com

This week at the movies, we’ve got an angry cop (Lakeview Terrace, starring Samuel L. Jackson); a disgruntled hunchback (the CGI Igor, with voice work by John Cusack and Molly Shannon); a haunted dentist (Ghost Town, starring Ricky Gervais and Greg Kinnear); and a date from hell (My Best Friend’s Girl, starring Dane Cook and Kate Hudson). What do the critics have to say?

Say what you will about the films of Neil LaBute, but give him this: while he rarely delivers a fun time at the movies, he’s no slave to convention. Unfortunately, critics say Lakeview Terrace offers an intriguing setup before devolving into a routine thriller finale. Samuel L. Jackson stars as a strict, emotionally damaged LAPD who objects to his new neighbors’ interracial marriage; after extensive harassment, the young couple (played by Patrick Wilson and Kerry Washington) fights back. Pundits say the problem with Lakeview Terrace is that it presents a realistic, charged scenario before jumping the rails in the final act, substituting smart characterization with generic vigilante tropes. At 36 percent on the Tomatometer, you may not want to visit Lakeview Terrace.

“Ugh, Sam’s at it again…. chewing the scenery at three in the morning…”

It’s one thing to make a macabre children’s film; it’s another to make one that doesn’t deliver much entertainment. Critics say the film is something of a Frankenstein’s monster, stitching together recycled parts from Shrek and The Nightmare Before Christmas. The titular hunchback (voiced by John Cusack) is tired of being a lowly lab assistant; he wants to be an evil scientist in his own right. But when one of his creations, a monster named Eva (Molly Shannon) turns out to be really sweet at heart, Igor begins to rethink his priorities. While the pundits say Igor has moments of Tim Burton-esque visual invention, it’s a pretty mediocre affair, filled with shopworn pop-culture references and manic action but few laughs; plus, it’s probably a bit too dark for the wee ones. At 20 percent on the Tomatometer, Igor could use more brains.

“You too can have your very own Contour Chair.”

Ricky Gervais is a very funny man, but thus far, his movie career has consisted of supporting roles. However, with Ghost Town, the man who brought so much cringe-worthy wit to The Office and Extras takes center stage — and the pundits say the result is delightful. Gervais stars as Bertram Pincus, who has a near-death experience and discovers he can see ghosts — and they’re pretty annoying, especially the caddish Frank (Greg Kinnear). But those specters are of some help, as Bertram learns to be a better person — and find love in the process. The pundits say Ghost Town is a perfect fit for Gervais’s talents, and the film emits awkward laughs and warmth without devolving into schmaltz. At 84 percent on the Tomatometer, Ghost Town has plenty of blithe spirit. (Check out this week’s Total Recall for a ghoulish compendium of some of our favorite cinematic apparitions.)

“For the last time, I am not pug-nosed!”

Given that it wasn’t screened prior to release, it’s unlikely critics will be BFFs with My Best Friend’s Girl. Dane Cook, Kate Hudson, and Jason Biggs star in this romantic comedy about a guy who’s so obnoxious he convinces potentially straying women to stand by their men — before falling for his main homey’s boo. Kids, call up you best friend’s girl and ask her for insight in guessing the Tomatometer! (And don’t forget to check out Dane Cook’s five favorite movies here.)

“The woman you’re replacing is very special. She won the GE Followship. Now send Tracey in.”

Also opening this week in limited release:

Finally, quasi-props to fullmetal_medji for coming the closest to guessing Tyler Perry’s the Family That Preys‘ 52 percent Tomatometer.

Recent Samuel L. Jackson Movies:

It’s not a vintage week for releases this week, but nevertheless it’s encouraging to see the two big British releases getting their fair share of the plaudits. Guy Ritchie returns to his Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch roots in the London-based gangster flick Rocknrolla. Keira Knightley squeezes into yet another corset for the period drama The Duchess. Nicolas Cage squeezes into yet another improbable hairpiece for the Hollywood remake of Thai hitman thriller Bangkok Dangerous. And the movie literally no-one had been waiting for, Disaster Movie hits our screens. So what did the critics have to say?

After two bona-fide Tomatometer turkeys – Swept Away at 5% and Revolver at 16% – Guy Ritchie returns to more familiar roots with cockney-crime-caper Rocknrolla, and with the film currently at 63%, the critics agree he has taken a step in the right direction. A fine cast, snappy direction and trademark flashy editing add positives, whilst a poor script, naff gags and derivative plotting referencing his own previous movies drag down the movie on the negative side. All in all, a return to form, even if that form wasn’t particularly great in the first place.

The distributors have unashamedly promoted The Duchess with the tagline “There were three people in her marriage” to draw parallels with the titular Duchess of Devonshire and her direct descendent Diana Spencer, but most critics feel the comparisons and allusions in the movie itself are heavy handed and predictable. Just scraping in as Fresh at 65% on the Tomatometer, Keira Knightley and Ralph Fiennes deliver decent enough performances to prevent it from leaning from period drama to period soap opera.

With limited press screenings, and a review embargo until today, Nic Cage’s latest, Bangkok Dangerous, had a whiff of being Rotten before the day had even began. With a new low for Cage at 10% on the Tomatometer, the critics are wondering when the once-funny and dependable Cage will stop appearing in every pointless remake going. The biggest talking point of the movie seems to be Cage’s hair piece with Charlotte O’Sullivan of London’s Evening Standard saying, “It seems Cage wants the world to believe he still has long, flowing locks; if so, his big mistake was to graft bits of an old shag-pile carpet onto his head. Because that’s what his ‘hair’ looks like.”

The original centred on a deaf-mute hitman, but with Cage starring and producing, this interesting angle on a tired genre is thrown out in favour of Cage, you know, talking and that, so then it does just end up being a tired generic addition to the actors recent poor output.

But what can be said of Disaster Movie other than Movie Disaster? At a truly pathetic 0% on the Tomatometer, its seems that the bottom of the barrel that Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer had been scraping for their previous stinkers, Meet the Spartans and Date Movie, has finally given way and they have started to scrape the mouldy detritus beneath, to bring us what could potentially end up being the worst movie of the year. Devoid of laughs, humour or charm, shamelessly referencing nearly every movie from the last 12 months, seemingly without having seen half of them, Disaster Movie has managed to elicit precisely zero positive points from any of the UK critics.

Quote of the Week
“You’ll find yourself less fixated on inner turmoil than whether you could feasibly slip a cocktail sausage between her perma-pouting lips.”
The Duchess — Larushka Ivan-Zadeh, Metro

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