(Photo by Orion/courtesy Everett Collection. Thumbnail: Vertical Entertainment, TriStar Pictures/courtesy Everett Collection)
100 Worst Movies of All Time
It’s bad movies galore as we encounter the Rottenest of the Rotten: 100 movies that scored less than 5% with the critics on the Tomatometer!
You’re going to see lots of 0% movies, and there’s even more out there, but the ones on this list all have at least 20 reviews. We wanted to make sure the movies we’re “vouching” for as the worst ever have inflicted a minimum threshold of agony on critics. And the 20-review entry applies for every other movie on this list, and that includes the usual suspects of garbage cinema, like the deep space train wreck Battlefield Earth, the box office turkey (turtle?) The Master of Disguise, Netflix’s lazy western The Ridiculous 6, and flaccid softcore Killing Me Softly (which also makes a dubious appearance in the 200 best and worst erotic movies).
You may also note a number of significant stinkers are from the past 20 years. It’s not just because Uwe Boll was employed during this time period. And, by the way, he’s actually beat by dubious directing duo Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg, who have four movies on the list. Instead, it’s the fact more reviews are being written and collected than ever before, so today’s disasters have a better chance of vaunting over 20 reviews. (And for movies that share the same score, more reviews means you’re placed higher within the ranking.)
But fret not: Plenty of yesteryear’s bombs are here. After all, the decade that produced Mac & Me has a lot to account for. Some of the classic trash featured includes the soul-sucking Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, Speed 2: Cruise Control (see what happens when you throw Keanu overboard?), off-the-deep-end Jaws: The Revenge, and prime directive-violating RoboCop 3.
What you won’t see: Some legendary bad movies like Cats, Birdemic, and The Room, all of which have cleared at least a 10% Tomatometer. That’s right, they were too good. And Miami Connection and Plan 9 From Outer Space are actually Fresh!
Now that we set the mood for truly bad movies, start the most painful watchlist you’ll ever make with the 100 worst movies of all time!
Adjusted Score: 4417%
Critics Consensus: Mac and Me is duly infamous: not only is it a pale imitation of E.T., it's also a thinly-veiled feature length commercial for McDonalds and Coca-Cola.
A young extraterrestrial, separated from its family and stranded on Earth, finds friendship with a boy in a wheelchair.... [More]
Adjusted Score: 4326%
Critics Consensus: Featuring mostly wooden performances, laughable dialogue, and shoddy production values, In the Name of the King fulfills all expectations of an Uwe Boll film.
As war looms in an idyllic kingdom, a man named Farmer (Jason Statham) begins a heroic quest to find his... [More]
Adjusted Score: 4573%
Critics Consensus: Plagued by paper-thin characterizations and a hackneyed script, Material Girls fails to live up to even the minimum standards of its genre.
Two sibling cosmetics heiresses (Hilary Duff, Haylie Duff) must grow up quickly when a company scandal leaves them penniless. Though... [More]
Adjusted Score: 4413%
Critics Consensus: BloodRayne is an absurd sword-and-sorcery vid-game adaptation from schlock-maestro Uwe Boll, featuring a distinguished (and slumming) cast.
In 18th-century Romania, after spending much of her life in a traveling circus, human-vampire hybrid Rayne (Kristanna Loken) escapes and... [More]
Adjusted Score: 4589%
Critics Consensus: A Little Bit of Heaven subjects viewers to a whole bunch of schmaltz - and strands Kate Hudson and Gael García Bernal in a fatally misguided film.
New Orleans ad executive Marley Corbett (Kate Hudson) is a free-spirited woman who embraces her easy sexuality, shuns commitment, and... [More]
Adjusted Score: 4274%
Critics Consensus: Yet another predictable variation on the hoary old haunted-house movie, Darkness is an illogical, portentous mess.
Paul (Stephan Enquist) and his older sister, Regina (Anna Paquin), unpack and settle into their new country home with their... [More]
Adjusted Score: 6239%
Critics Consensus: Lacking the punch and good cheer of The Incredibles and Sky High, Zoom is a dull and laugh-free affair.
Capt. Zoom, or Jack (Tim Allen), as he is now known, has long since given up his career of fighting... [More]
Adjusted Score: 6128%
Critics Consensus: The Fog is a so-so remake of a so-so movie, lacking scares, suspense or originality.
The prosperous town of Antonio Bay, Ore., is born in blood, as the town's founders get their money by murdering... [More]
Adjusted Score: 6504%
Critics Consensus: Speed 2 falls far short of its predecessor, thanks to laughable dialogue, thin characterization, unsurprisingly familiar plot devices, and action sequences that fail to generate any excitement.
Annie (Sandra Bullock) is looking forward to a Caribbean cruise with her cop boyfriend, Alex (Jason Patric), who purchased the... [More]
Adjusted Score: 6573%
Critics Consensus: The Covenant plays out like a teen soap opera, full of pretty faces, wooden acting, laughable dialogue, and little suspense.
In the 17th century, five families with supernatural powers make a pact of silence. Eventually one power-hungry family is banished.... [More]
Adjusted Score: 8045%
Critics Consensus: Flatliners falls flat as a horror movie and fails to improve upon its source material, rendering this reboot dead on arrival.
Five medical students embark on a daring and dangerous experiment to gain insight into the mystery of what lies beyond... [More]
Adjusted Score: 5840%
Critics Consensus: Happily N'Ever After has none of the moxy, edge, or postmodern wit of the other fairy-tales-gone-haywire CG movie it so blatantly rips off.
Fairy Tale Land becomes a realm of happy endings gone wrong when Cinderella's wicked stepmother, Frieda (Sigourney Weaver), joins forces... [More]
Adjusted Score: 6019%
Critics Consensus: Code Name: The Cleaner is a limp action/comedy flick that alternates between lame, worn-out jokes and cheesy martial arts.
When Jake (Cedric the Entertainer) awakes one morning in a strange hotel room, he finds himself in a bit of... [More]
Adjusted Score: 6983%
Critics Consensus: A star-studded turkey, Movie 43 is loaded with gleefully offensive and often scatological gags, but it's largely bereft of laughs.
Twelve directors, including Peter Farrelly, Griffin Dunne and Brett Ratner, contributed to this collection of outrageous spoofs and stories. A... [More]
Adjusted Score: 6374%
Critics Consensus: The Adventures of Pluto Nash is neither adventurous nor funny, and Eddie Murphy is on autopilot in this notorious box office bomb.
"Pluto Nash" is an action comedy set on the moon in the year 2087, starring Eddie Murphy as the title... [More]
Adjusted Score: 6861%
Critics Consensus: Witlessly broad and utterly devoid of laughs, Vampires Suck represents a slight step forward for the Friedberg-Seltzer team.
Becca (Jenn Proske), an angst-ridden teenager, is torn between two supernatural suitors: vampire Edward (Matt Lanter) and werewolf Jacob (Chris... [More]
Adjusted Score: 7282%
Critics Consensus: Witless, unfocused, and arguably misogynistic, Playing for Keeps is a dispiriting, lowest-common-denominator Hollywood rom-com.
Long past his soccer-playing heyday, George Dryer (Gerard Butler) is struggling financially and failing in his attempt to reconcile with... [More]
Adjusted Score: 7284%
Critics Consensus: A romantic comedy that's neither funny nor particularly romantic, Serving Sara is a forgettable time waster.
When Sara (Elizabeth Hurley) is served divorce papers while she is in New York, she is stunned. Not about to... [More]
Adjusted Score: 7961%
Critics Consensus: A strained, laugh-free sequel, The Whole Ten Yards recycles its predecessor's cast and plot but not its wit or reason for being.
After faking his death, former killer-for-hire Jimmy "The Tulip" Tudeski (Bruce Willis) retires to Mexico with his new wife, Jill... [More]
Adjusted Score: 8746%
Critics Consensus: A murky thriller with few chills, Godsend features ludicrous dialogue, by-the-numbers plotting, and an excess of cheap shocks.
After Paul Duncan (Greg Kinnear) and his wife, Jessie (Rebecca Romijn-Stamos), lose their young son, Adam (Cameron Bright), in an... [More]
Adjusted Score: 9608%
Critics Consensus: Overly reliant on caricatures and lacking any human insight, Because I Said So is an unfunny, cliche-ridden mess.
Daphne Wilder (Diane Keaton) is the proud mother of three women: Milly (Mandy Moore), Maggie (Lauren Graham) and Mae (Piper... [More]
Adjusted Score: 4168%
Critics Consensus: About as funny as a keelhauling, McHale's Navy will leave most viewers feeling they've been the victim of a particularly dishonorable discharge.
Shopkeeper McHale (Tom Arnold) is called back to captain the PT-73 and save a Caribbean island from annihilation.... [More]
Adjusted Score: 4355%
Critics Consensus: Aside from an opportunity to watch a mustachioed Nicolas Cage acting from under a wig and behind a prosthetic nose, Arsenal has depressingly little to offer.
The Lindel brothers, Mikey and JP, only had each other to rely on growing up. As adults, JP finds success... [More]
Adjusted Score: 3273%
Critics Consensus: As pretentious as it is hopelessly clichéd, this Twelve is closer to zero.
A high-school dropout (Chace Crawford) sells drugs to his wealthy former classmates.... [More]
Adjusted Score: 3391%
Critics Consensus: Overly formulaic and tonally inconsistent, Getting Even with Dad tries for a sentimental conclusion it doesn't earn and winds up a slapsticky cash grab aimed at fans of Home Alone.
Con man Ray Gleason (Ted Danson) is going after one last heist -- a stash of rare coins -- when... [More]
Adjusted Score: 3422%
Critics Consensus: Passion Play has a terrific cast, but don't be fooled - the only real question at the heart of this misbegotten mystery is what its stars were thinking.
A washed-up musician (Mickey Rourke) tries to protect an enigmatic winged woman (Megan Fox) from a merciless gangster (Bill Murray)... [More]
Adjusted Score: 3262%
Critics Consensus: The Darkness clumsily relies on an assortment of genre tropes, leaving only the decidedly non-frightening ghost of superior horror films in its wake.
Peter Taylor (Kevin Bacon), his wife Bronny and their two children return to Los Angeles after a fun-filled vacation to... [More]
Adjusted Score: 2569%
Critics Consensus: Employing multiple cinematic clichés and milking stale performances, Deal proves inadequate for even the lowly regarded poker movie genre.
Tommy Vinson (Burt Reynolds), a former cardsharp, gave up poker years ago when his wife threatened to leave him. Tommy... [More]
Adjusted Score: 2551%
Critics Consensus: A severely misguided and inept comedy incapable of even telling its single joke properly.
Innocent Midwesterner Bucky Larson (Nick Swardson) works in a dead-end job as a grocery bagger and has never even kissed... [More]
Adjusted Score: 4659%
Critics Consensus: Down to You is ruined by a bland, by-the-numbers plot and an awful script.
College coeds in New York City, Al (Freddie Prinze Jr.), the son of a celebrity chef (Henry Winkler), and Imogen... [More]
Adjusted Score: 4395%
Critics Consensus: A grungy, disjointed, mostly brainless mess of a film, House of the Dead is nonetheless loaded with unintentional laughs.
Simon (Tyron Leitso) and Greg (Will Sanderson) meet a group of friends and set out to attend a rave on... [More]
Adjusted Score: 4919%
Critics Consensus: The Apparition fails to offer anything original, isn't particularly scary, and offers so little in the way of dramatic momentum that it's more likely to put you to sleep than thrill you.
Plagued by frightening occurrences in their home, Kelly (Ashley Greene) and Ben (Sebastian Stan) learn that a university's parapsychology experiment... [More]
Adjusted Score: 5239%
Critics Consensus: The Mod Squad aims for stylish cool and thrilling adventure, but collapses in an incoherent jumble of dated source material and unintentional hilarity.
Julie (Claire Danes) is on her way to jail for assault. Arsonist Linc (Omar Epps) is looking at serious prison... [More]
Adjusted Score: 3843%
Critics Consensus: Melodramatic and weighed down with silly dialogue, Deuces Wild is a forgettable, overheated thriller that leaves no cliche unturned.
Leon (Stephen Dorff) and Bobby (Brad Renfro) are brothers who, with their friends, are determined to maintain the way of... [More]
Adjusted Score: 5705%
Critics Consensus: Devoid of chills, thrills, or even cheap titillation, The Roommate isn't even bad enough to be good.
When Sara (Minka Kelly), a young design student from Iowa, arrives for college in Los Angeles, she is eager to... [More]
Adjusted Score: 5336%
Critics Consensus: Seagal is now too bulky to make a convincing action hero, and Half Past Dead is too silly and incoherent to deliver any visceral kicks.
Criminal mastermind Donny/49er One (Morris Chestnut) has set in motion a plan to infiltrate a high-tech prison in order to... [More]
Adjusted Score: 4827%
Critics Consensus: As frustrating as a 404 error, Fear Dot Com is a stylish, incoherent, and often nasty mess with few scares.
When four bodies are discovered among the industrial decay and urban grime of New York City, brash young detective Mike... [More]
Adjusted Score: 5918%
Critics Consensus: Bless the Child squanders its talented cast on a plot that's more likely to inspire unintentional laughs than shivers.
When Maggie's sister Jenna saddles her with an autistic newborn named Cody she touches Maggie's heart and becomes the daughter... [More]
Adjusted Score: 5997%
Critics Consensus: Although it features an inexplicably committed performance from Al Pacino, Jack and Jill is impossible to recommend on any level whatsoever.
Thanksgiving is usually a happy time, but ad executive Jack (Adam Sandler) dreads the holiday because his twin sister, Jill... [More]
Adjusted Score: 6436%
Critics Consensus: Removing the social critique of the original, this updated version of Rollerball is violent, confusing, and choppy. Klein makes for a bland hero.
Jonathan (Chris Klein) is the most popular player in the fastest and most extreme sport of all time: rollerball. Along... [More]
Adjusted Score: 7779%
Critics Consensus: Ugly, campy, and poorly acted, Battlefield Earth is a stunningly misguided, aggressively bad sci-fi folly.
In the year 3000, there are no countries, no cities... Earth is a wasteland. And man is an endangered species.... [More]
Adjusted Score: 8493%
Critics Consensus: Monotonously fast-paced to the point of exhaustion, Getaway offers a reminder of the dangers in attempting to speed past coherent editing, character development, sensible dialogue, and an interesting plot.
Though he used to race cars for a living, Brent Magna (Ethan Hawke) is now pitted against the clock in... [More]
Adjusted Score: 2838%
Critics Consensus: The Haunting of Molly Hartley is a rather lifeless horror endeavor, with a pedestrian plot and few scares.
After surviving a brutal attack by her insane mother, teenage Molly (Haley Bennett) is eager to get a fresh start... [More]
Adjusted Score: 3793%
Critics Consensus: A wholly misguided tribute to its subject's searing talent and enduring impact, Nina is the cinematic equivalent of a covers project featuring all the wrong artists.
Manager Clifton Henderson (David Oyelowo) helps singer and pianist Nina Simone (Zoe Saldana) rediscover her love for music.... [More]
Adjusted Score: 3059%
Critics Consensus: Kickin' It Old Skool is one big unfunny pop culture reference that doesn't feature many laughs.
At a talent show in 1986, young Justin Schumacher suffers a head injury and slips into a coma. Twenty years... [More]
Adjusted Score: 3314%
Critics Consensus: Flat direction and actors who look embarrassed to be onscreen make Baby Geniuses worse than the premise suggests.
Evil partners (Kathleen Turner, Christopher Lloyd) experiment on an infant and send his twin to a reputable research nursery.... [More]
Adjusted Score: 3147%
Critics Consensus: Strange Wilderness is a laugh-free comedy that's both aimless and overly crass.
Peter Gaulke takes over, when his father, a respected wildlife TV host dies, but receives far less success. When the... [More]
Adjusted Score: 3147%
Critics Consensus: A tired, unfunny, offensive waste of time, Meet the Spartans scrapes the bottom of the cinematic barrel.
When Xerxes (Ken Davitian), the evil god king of Persia, sends his massive army to Sparta, King Leonidas (Sean Maguire)... [More]
Adjusted Score: 5798%
Critics Consensus: With its shallow characters, low budget special effects, and mindless fight scenes, Mortal Kombat - Annihilation offers minimal plot development and manages to underachieve the low bar set by its predecessor.
Every generation, a portal opens up between the Outerworld and Earth. Emperor Shao-Kahn (Brian Thompson), ruler of the mythical Outerworld,... [More]
Adjusted Score: 3235%
Critics Consensus: Filled with crass dialogue, unlikable characters, and overdone slapstick gags, King's Ransom is an utterly inept would-be comedy.
When the rich and arrogant Malcolm King (Anthony Anderson) informs his wife, Renee (Kellita Smith), that he plans to divorce... [More]
Adjusted Score: 2288%
Critics Consensus: As far as westerns go, Texas Rangers is strictly mediocre stuff.
Texas, 1875. In a land without justice, where chaos reigns, one legendary man, Leander McNelly (Dylan McDermott), is chosen to... [More]
Adjusted Score: 2589%
Critics Consensus: Dull and unfunny, One For the Money wastes Katherine Heigl's talents on a stunningly generic comic thriller.
New Jersey native Stephanie Plum (Katherine Heigl) has plenty of attitude, even if she is broke after six months of... [More]
Adjusted Score: 2659%
Critics Consensus: A dull, soapy potboiler that lacks the energy to qualify as a guilty pleasure, The In Crowd is undone by slow pacing, poor acting, and a stunning lack of originality.
Adrien Williams has spent time at a psychiatric hospital, learning to come to terms with a troubled past and is... [More]
Adjusted Score: 3097%
Critics Consensus: This heartfelt but incompetent, cliche-ridden sports picture is the cinematic equivalent of an airball.
The lives of a gifted athlete (Wesley Jonathan) and his best friend (Anthony Mackie) change when they take a fateful... [More]
Adjusted Score: 3158%
Critics Consensus: A crude comedy with nothing new or insightful to say about the subjects it satirizes.
Four adult orphans (Kal Penn, Adam Campbell, Faune Chambers, Jayma Mays) have an incredible adventure in a spoof of blockbuster... [More]
Adjusted Score: 3288%
Critics Consensus: Yea verily, like unto a plague of locusts, Left Behind hath begat a further scourge of devastation upon Nicolas Cage's once-proud filmography.
The entire planet is thrown into mayhem when millions of people disappear without a trace -- all that remains are... [More]
Adjusted Score: 3310%
Critics Consensus: Returning to their seemingly bottomless well of flatulence humor, racial stereotypes, and stale pop culture gags, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer have produced what is arguably their worst Movie yet.
During a fateful night, a group of impossibly attractive 20-somethings (Matt Lanter, Vanessa Minnillo, Kim Kardashian) must dodge a series... [More]
Adjusted Score: 3878%
Critics Consensus: A mirthless, fairly desperate family film, Daddy Day Camp relies too heavily on bodily functions for comedic effect, resulting in plenty of cheap gags but no laughs.
Spurred on by their wives' insistence that their children attend summer camp, daycare entrepreneurs Charlie Hinton (Cuba Gooding Jr.) and... [More]
Adjusted Score: 3943%
Critics Consensus: An ill-concieved attempt to utilize Dana Carvey's talent for mimicry, The Master of Disguise is an irritating, witless farce weighted down by sophomoric gags.
Pistachio Disguisey (Dana Carvey), a genial waiter at his father Frabbrizio's (James Brolin) Italian restaurant, possesses an uncanny knack for... [More]
Adjusted Score: 5497%
Critics Consensus: Inept on almost every level, Alone in the Dark may not work as a thriller, but it's good for some head-slapping, incredulous laughter.
When the investigations of supernatural detective Edward Carnby (Christian Slater) lead him to uncover a long-lost tribe called the Abskani,... [More]
Adjusted Score: 5579%
Critics Consensus: An implausible, overheated potboiler that squanders a stellar cast, Twisted is a clichéd, risible whodunit.
Recently promoted and transferred to the homicide division, Inspector Jessica Shepard (Ashley Judd) feels pressure to prove herself -- and... [More]
Critics Consensus: Shallow and brackish, Dark Tide fails to rise.
A traumatized shark expert (Halle Berry) must battle her own fears to lead a thrill-seeking businessman on a dive into... [More]
Critics Consensus: With plot points Stolen from countless superior films, this would-be thriller squanders a solid cast on overly serious and suspense-free storytelling.
A detective (Jon Hamm) becomes obsessed with solving a child's 50-year-old murder, uncovering striking similarities between the case and his... [More]
Critics Consensus: Though earnestly directed, Constellation lacks dramatic fireworks and eventually falls into TV-movie sentimentality.
The continuing legacy of a long-ago, interracial love affair forms the backdrop for a tale of an extended Southern family's... [More]
Adjusted Score: 938%
Critics Consensus: Don't watch this alleged comedy looking for more than pained performances in support of ill-advised ageist jokes, because that's all Folks! has to offer.
When Jon (Tom Selleck), a well-heeled professional, visits his mother, Mildred (Anne Jackson), in the hospital, he's unaware of how... [More]
Adjusted Score: 923%
Critics Consensus: Utterly, completely, thoroughly and astonishingly unfunny, Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol sends a once-innocuous franchise plummeting to agonizing new depths.
Feeling that his squad is not up to snuff, a police commander comes up with an unorthodox plan to hire... [More]
Adjusted Score: 28%
Critics Consensus: Simon Sez no matter how starved you are for something to watch, there has to be a better option than this dreadfully misguided action thriller.
Interpol agent Simon (Dennis Rodman) is gathering information about the weapons trade on the French Riviera and trying to pinpoint... [More]
Adjusted Score: 463%
Critics Consensus: No consensus yet.
To get back in the good graces of her murderous boss (Bruce Willis), a seductive thief (Claire Forlani) recruits an... [More]
Adjusted Score: 397%
Critics Consensus: Bereft of characterization or even satisfying rock 'em sock 'em, Max Steel feels like futzing with an action figure without any childhood imagination.
Teenager Max McGrath (Ben Winchell) discovers that his body can generate the most powerful energy in the universe. Steel (Josh... [More]
Adjusted Score: 663%
Critics Consensus: A trifecta of failure for writer-director-star Keenen Ivory Wayans, A Low Down Dirty Shame lives repeatedly and resolutely down to its title.
After hitting a wall in his case against drug kingpin Ernesto Mendoza (Andrew Divoff), private eye Andre Shame (Keenen Ivory... [More]
Critics Consensus: Never aiming higher than threadbare jokes and offensive attempts at politically incorrect humor, Transylmania is a vampire comedy that truly sucks.
College students arrive at a Romanian castle for a semester abroad, unaware that the place is infested with vampires.... [More]
Critics Consensus: This overly wacky farce strains for sophistication but lacks polish and a coherent narrative.
A gay man (Stanislas Merhar) tells a woman (Jane Birkin) impersonating a psychiatrist that he witnessed a murder.... [More]
Critics Consensus: Respected director Chen Kaige's first English-language film is a spectacularly misguided erotic thriller, with ludicrous plot twists and cringe-worthy dialogue.
A woman (Heather Graham) grows suspicious of her controlling husband (Joseph Fiennes) after she discovers secrets about the women in... [More]
Adjusted Score: 1185%
Critics Consensus: Bolero combines a ludicrous storyline and wildly mismatched cast in its desperate attempts to titillate, but only succeeds in arousing boredom.
A 1920s English heiress (Bo Derek) seeks ecstasy with a sheik in Morocco and a bullfighter (Andrea Occhipinti) in Spain.... [More]
Adjusted Score: 18%
Critics Consensus: A lazy collection of obsession thriller clichés, Homecoming will leave viewers wishing they'd opted for a lopsided football game and some awkward dancing instead.
A jealous woman (Mischa Barton) plots revenge after her former beau (Matt Long) returns to their hometown with a pretty... [More]
Adjusted Score: 1150%
Critics Consensus: There should have been only one.
In this sci-fi/fantasy sequel, Connor MacLeod (Christopher Lambert) has become an elderly man after losing his immortality. Living in a... [More]
Adjusted Score: 729%
Critics Consensus: The Disappointments Room lives down to its title with a thrill-free thriller that presumably left its stars filled with regret - and threatens to do the same for audiences.
Dana (Kate Beckinsale), her husband David and their 5-year-old son Lucas start a new life after moving from the hustle... [More]
Adjusted Score: 1423%
Critics Consensus: Look Who's Talking Now: Look away.
James (John Travolta) and Mollie Ubriacco (Kirstie Alley) are expanding the family again, this time with Rocks the mutt (Danny... [More]
Adjusted Score: 1857%
Critics Consensus: This sequel to Saturday Night Fever is shockingly embarrassing and unnecessary, trading the original's dramatic depth for a series of uninspired dance sequences.
Six years after his glittering triumph in the disco dance contest of "Saturday Night Fever," an older and wiser Tony... [More]
Adjusted Score: 293%
Critics Consensus: Redline has plenty of bad acting, laughable dialogue, and luxury cars.
Natasha (Nadia Bjorlin) is an aspiring singer and an ace driver. She gets a gig illegally racing flashy sports cars... [More]
Adjusted Score: 4160%
Critics Consensus: Rather than exciting audiences with a thrilling race against time, Shadow Conspiracy suggests there may be a secret cabal duping talented actors into selecting woefully deficient scripts.
Presidential aide Bobby Bishop (Charlie Sheen) runs into an old professor who tells him of a secret plot to assassinate... [More]
Adjusted Score: 928%
Critics Consensus: No need for a quarantine -- enthusiasm for this inert remake is not contagious.
Fresh out of college, five friends (Nadine Crocker, Matthew Daddario, Samuel Davis) face the horrors of a flesh-eating virus while... [More]
Adjusted Score: 285%
Critics Consensus: 3 Strikes lacks direction and its low-brow humor isn't even that funny.
Rob Douglas (Brian Hooks) is just released from jail. The state adopts a "3 strikes" rule for felons that involves... [More]
Adjusted Score: 99%
Critics Consensus: Wagons East! is a witless, toothless satire of Westerns that falls far below the standard set by Blazing Saddles, and is notable only for being John Candy's final screen performance.
When a group of dissatisfied settlers decides they've had enough of the Wild West, they hire James Harlow (John Candy),... [More]
Adjusted Score: 1523%
Critics Consensus: Mean-spirited and hopelessly short on comic invention, Problem Child is a particularly unpleasant comedy, one that's loaded with manic scenery chewing and juvenile pranks.
Ben (John Ritter) is a good-hearted guy who's always wanted a son of his own, but so far he and... [More]
Adjusted Score: 1775%
Critics Consensus: Despite its lush tropical scenery and attractive leads, Return to the Blue Lagoon is as ridiculous as its predecessor, and lacks the prurience and unintentional laughs that might make it a guilty pleasure.
When widow Sarah Hargrave (Lisa Pelikan) washes ashore on a tropical island with her daughter and adopted son, she learns... [More]
Adjusted Score: 358%
Critics Consensus: Misguided, misconceived, and misbegotten on every level, The Nutcracker in 3D is a stunning exercise in astonishing cinematic wrong-headedness.
Adjusted Score: 1298%
Critics Consensus: London Fields bungles its beloved source material and an intriguingly eclectic cast, leaving audiences with a would-be neo-noir of interest only to the morbidly curious.
Clairvoyant femme fatale Nicola Six has been living with a dark premonition of her impending death by murder. She begins... [More]
Adjusted Score: 1313%
Critics Consensus: Stratton's action-thriller ambitions are roundly thwarted by a derivative story, misguided casting, and a low-budget feel underscored by unimpressive set pieces.
After the death of his American counterpart, an MI6 agent and his team must race against time to stop a... [More]
Adjusted Score: 1826%
Critics Consensus: Every bit as lazily offensive as its cast and concept would suggest, The Ridiculous Six is standard couch fare for Adam Sandler fanatics and must-avoid viewing for film enthusiasts of every other persuasion.
White Knife, an orphan raised by Native Americans, discovers that five outlaws are actually his half-brothers. Together, they set out... [More]
Adjusted Score: 1377%
Critics Consensus: Dark Crimes is a rote, unpleasant thriller that fails to parlay its compelling true story and a committed Jim Carrey performance into even modest chills.
A hard-boiled detective becomes suspicious of an author when the incidents described in his hit novel resemble the inner-workings of... [More]
Adjusted Score: 2744%
Critics Consensus: Illogical, tension-free, and filled with cut-rate special effects, Jaws: The Revenge is a sorry chapter in a once-proud franchise.
The family of widow Ellen Brody (Lorraine Gary) has long been plagued by shark attacks, and this unfortunate association continues... [More]
Adjusted Score: 2191%
Critics Consensus: This Crime is punishment.
Two men and a woman plan the heist of the century before a government-broadcast signal wipes out crime forever.... [More]
Adjusted Score: 728%
Critics Consensus: It aspires to Farrelly-level offensiveness, but the PG-13 rating and a dearth of decent gags renders Gold Diggers tame, toothless, and dull.
Calvin (Will Friedle) and Leonard (Chris Owen), two broke losers, are arrested for trying to rob rich old sisters Doris... [More]
Adjusted Score: 902%
Critics Consensus: A startling lack of taste pervades Superbabies, a sequel offering further proof that bad jokes still aren't funny when coming from the mouths of babes.
Toddlers use their special abilities to stop a media mogul (Jon Voight) from altering the minds of children.... [More]
Adjusted Score: 1085%
Critics Consensus: Roberto Benigni misfires wildly with this adaptation of Pinocchio, and the result is an unfunny, poorly-made, creepy vanity project.
A woodcarver creates a puppet (Roberto Benigni) that longs to become a real boy.... [More]
Adjusted Score: 2726%
Critics Consensus: Fuhgeddaboudit.
Raised on the streets of New York, young John Gotti found his way into the Gambino crime family, eventually having... [More]
Adjusted Score: 1778%
Critics Consensus: Dated jokes (A Thousand Words was shot in 2008) and removing Eddie Murphy's voice -- his greatest comedic asset -- dooms this painful mess from the start.
Jack McCall (Eddie Murphy) is a selfish literary agent whose fast-talking ways allow him to close any deal. His next... [More]
Adjusted Score: 2623%
Critics Consensus: One of the weakest entries in the J-horror remake sweepstakes, One Missed Call is undone by bland performances and shopworn shocks.
When Beth Raymond (Shannyn Sossamon) witnesses the deaths of two friends, she knows there is more at work than just... [More]
Adjusted Score: 3471%
Critics Consensus: A startlingly inept film, Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever offers overblown, wall-to-wall action without a hint of wit, coherence, style, or originality.
Haunted by the mysterious death of his wife, Jeremiah Ecks (Antonio Banderas) has become a recluse, but the former FBI... [More]
It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means. New DVD releases! This week we have 2007’s Best Foreign Oscar winner The Lives of Others, a Serenity Collector’s Edition, and other good bets. Read on to see what’s hot (and what’s not) this week in stores.
The Lives of Others (Sony)
If you’re in the mood for a smart, tense drama, you could do much worse than 2007’s best Foreign Oscar winner, The Lives of Others. Yeah, it’s in German, but reading subtitles is a small price to pay for good entertainment these days. Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck‘s tale of an East German surveillance operator and the playwright he’s charged to monitor earned an impressive 95 percent on the Tomatometer, making it this week’s best-reviewed new release.
R. Kelly’s Trapped in the Closet Chapters 13-22 (Jive)
Have you been anxiously awaiting the latest installment of R. Kelly‘s infamous hip-hopera as much as we have? Well, wait no longer — Chapters 13 to 22 of the genre-defying Trapped in the Closet serial are now yours for the taking. Kelly’s bizarre music video saga defies description, so suffice to say that Chapters 1 through 12 involved a host of interconnected characters (many of which are played by Kelly himself), lots of extramarital intrigue, guns, cherry pies, and a midget (“…midget…midget…”), all produced and co-directed by (guess who?) Kelly. Did I mention he was Grammy-nominated for the first five chapters? We can’t wait to see what melodramatic delights are in store for us next.
House of Games (Criterion)
Fans of writer David Mamet‘s critically-acclaimed directing debut, rejoice! House of Games is getting the Criterion treatment. The 1987 psychological thriller stars Lindsay Crouse as an ice-cold shrink and Joe Mantegna as a devious con man, between whom a dangerous cat-and-mouse game unfolds. The folks over at Criterion have a host of special features, including interviews with Crouse and Mantegna, audio commentary with Mamet and co-star (and card magician extraordinaire) Ricky Jay, and a behind the scenes doc filmed during the original production.
Robocop 20th Anniversary Collector’s Edition (MGM)
Add this one to the Must-Have list. This version of what’s arguably one of director Paul Verhoeven‘s best efforts boasts two discs full of extended cuts and special features, all in an impenetrable steel case. Well, maybe it’s not impenetrable, but it’ll look awesome on your DVD shelf! Bonus features include a commentary track by Verhoeven, writer Ed Neumeier and exec producer Jon Davison; four deleted scenes; cast, crew, behind-the-scenes, and design photo galleries; storyboard commentary by special effects whiz Phil Tippett; the extended widescreen cut of the film; and loads more featurettes. Grab this unrated collector’s edition and have yourself a RoboParty.
Serenity Collector’s Edition (Universal Studios)
Firefly fans waited with bated breath for the feature-length Serenity to come out in 2005, and bought the first DVD edition in droves. So why give this new Collector’s Edition a look, when many of the special features were available on the first? Two discs, new bonus features, and gorgeous layered packaging, that’s why! Hardcore browncoats and sci-fi fantasy enthusiasts should enjoy features like the “Take A Walk on Serenity” set tour, the “Sci-Fi Inside: Serenity” retrospective, and Joss Whedon‘s account of adapting Firefly from TV-to-film in “A Filmmaker’s Journey,” but they’ll really love the “Session 416” internet episodes and an all-new commentary track by Whedon, and his stars Nathan Fillion, Adam Baldwin, Summer Glau, and Ron Glass.
Other Safe Bets This Week
Parker Posey stars as a thirtysomething woman looking desperately for love in this serio-romantic comedy, directed by Zoe Cassavetes.
South Park — The Complete Tenth Season
The foul-mouthed little boys of South Park invade home theaters with Season 10, taking cracks at the Nintendo Wii, World of Warcraft, and Family Guy.
Ugly Betty — The Complete First Season
ABC’s award-winning serio-comedy about the world’s mousiest personal assistant (America Ferrera) and the cutthroat “beautiful” people at the fashion magazine she works at is now out on DVD.
Rob Zombie 3-Disc Collector’s Set
It’s a three-fer for you horror hounds — Rob Zombie‘s House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil’s Rejects, and 30 Days in Hell – The Making of the Devil’s Rejects.
Michael Haneke Collection
This collection gathers four films from the Austrian director’s career — The Seventh Continent, Benny’s Video, 71 Fragments of a Chronology of Chance, and Funny Games — for an alternative to the usual Hollywood offerings.
Toho Triple Feature
It’s a 1960s science fiction spectacular! Japan’s Toho Studios bring you not one, not two, but three creature features from the golden age of monster movies and the land of Godzilla: Varan the Unbelievable, The Mysterians, and Matango: The Curse of the Mushroom People!
Don’t Say We Didn’t Warn You…
This independently financed actioner cost a reported $26 million to make, smashed countless priceless sports cars during production (including the Enzo Ferrari crashed by star Eddie Griffin during a promotional event) and bombed at the box office. Of the 23 critics who reviewed it, guess how many recommend Redline? That’s right. Zero.
Faring ever so slightly better than Redline, this Bruce Willis–Halle Berry stinker was too chock full of inane twists and turns for most critics. If the allure of watching the “Virtual Lives: The Making of Perfect Stranger” special feature appeals to you, then good; it’s pretty much the only bonus feature on the disc.
Separately, Zach Braff, Amanda Peet, and Jason Bateman are all arguably funny performers; thrown together in this third-wheel rom-com, critics found them not only unfunny but largely unlikeable. But hey, that’s why we have the term “wait until DVD.”
The Ultimate Gift
This most recent offering from Christian shingle Fox Faith follows a spoiled young man (Drew Fuller) who has to perform a series of spiritual character-building tests in order to receive his inheritance. Cute little pipsqueak Abigail Breslin co-stars. This might be a bit saccharine, but it’s family friendly.
Until next week, happy renting!
Paramount replaced itself at the top of the North American box office chart as its new teen thriller "Disturbia" opened ahead of expectations in first place bumping the studio’s two-week champ "Blades of Glory" into the runnerup spot.
The weekend’s other new suspense thriller "Perfect Stranger" starring Halle Berry and Bruce Willis disappointed and landed in fourth place. Four other new films debuted in wide release but generated little interest from moviegoers. Overall, the marketplace suffered the usual late spring slowdown as for the first time since February, the top ten failed to sell $100M worth of tickets.
Rising star Shia LaBeouf scored a big victory over the weekend with the thriller "Disturbia" which shot straight to number one debuting with an estimated $23M. The PG-13 pic was given the widest release of the frame’s six new entries playing in 2,925 theaters and generated a strong $7,872 average. A modern day version of Alfred Hitchcock’s "Rear Window," Disturbia played to a young female audience as studio research showed that 57% of the crowd was female and 75% was under 35.
Just before the film’s opening day, the studio announced that LaBeouf had been cast opposite Harrison Ford in its next "Indiana Jones" film. The news may have helped to generate more excitement for Disturbia which was the only major choice for teenage girls this weekend. The safe rating and fairly good reviews may also have contributed. The $20M production looks to become a profitable vehicle.
After its two-week run at the top, Will Ferrell’s comedy hit "Blades of Glory" slipped to second place dropping a moderate 38% to an estimated $14.1M. The 17-day cume stands at a potent $90.2M. Like "Disturbia," "Blades" was produced by DreamWorks and distributed by its new parent Paramount.
Slipping only 28% was Disney’s animated comedy "Meet the Robinsons" with an estimated $12.1M which lifted the total to $72M. With no new films for young kids this weekend, "Robinsons" enjoyed the smallest decline in the top ten.
Halle Berry and Bruce Willis failed to turn their starpower into box office bucks as their new suspense thriller "Perfect Stranger" debuted weaker than expected in fourth place with an estimated $11.5M. The critically-panned Sony release averaged a mediocre $4,322 from 2,661 theaters. With its R rating, "Perfect Stranger" played to an adult audience with a female skew. Studio research showed that women made up 54% of the audience and a very high 70% were 25 or older. The opening was weaker than the bows of other films headlined by Berry like "Catwoman" ($16.7M) and "Gothika" ($19.3M).
Ice Cube had a decent second weekend for his comedy sequel "Are We Done Yet?" which fell by 36% to an estimated $9.2M. That gave the Sony release a cume of $33M after 12 days. Its predecessor enjoyed a much slimmer 12% dip to $16.3M in its second weekend on its way to $82.3M. "Done" might find its way to the vicinity of $55M.
Fox’s Viking actioner "Pathfinder" limped into sixth place with a weak $4.8M opening, according to estimates. The R-rated film averaged a mild $2,791 from 1,720 locations.
The rest of the top ten was filled with four films separated by only $400,000. Buena Vista’s motorcycle comedy "Wild Hogs" grossed an estimated $4.6M, down only 30%, for a stellar cume of $152.2M. Hilary Swank’s horror flick "The Reaping" tumbled 55% in its second weekend to an estimated $4.6M giving Warner Bros. $19.8M in 11 days.
The mighty "300" broke through the double century mark over the weekend both domestically and internationally. In North America, the Warner Bros. smash dropped 48% to an estimated $4.3M boosting the total to $200.8M. Overseas, "300" collected an estimated $14.8M this weekend to lift the international haul to $204.1M giving the Spartan epic a global tally of $405M and counting. The stylish war film is now the highest grossing March release ever having surpassed the old record holder "Ice Age: The Meltdown" which grossed $195.3M last spring.
Rounding out the top ten was the Quentin Tarantino–Robert Rodriguez flop "Grindhouse" which plunged 63% in its sophomore session to an estimated $4.2M. Budgeted at $53M, the double feature has taken in just $19.7M in its first ten days and looks headed for a weak $25-27M finish for The Weinstein Co.
In addition to the three new wide releases that debuted in the top ten, another three opened outside of it with weaker results. The car racing pic "Redline" bowed to an estimated $4M from 1,607 sites for a slow $2,492 average per theater. The first title from rookie distributor Chicago Pictures stars Eddie Griffin and targeted young males.
First Look opened the animated film "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" to the tune of $3.1M, according to estimates, giving the R-rated film an average of just $3,521 from 877 locations. Lionsgate made no impact with its Ray Liotta actioner "Slow Burn" which bowed to an estimated $805,000 from 1,163 playdates for a puny average of $692 per theater.
Three films fell out of the top ten this weekend. Mark Wahlberg’s sniper pic "Shooter" dropped 47% to an estimated $3.1M putting its total at $42.1M. The $60M Paramount release should end its run with $47-49M. Fox’s family film "Firehouse Dog" held up well in its second weekend, despite collecting low overall grosses. The PG-rated drama dipped 28% to an estimated $2.8M for a cume of $9.9M after 12 days. Warner Bros. took in an estimated $2.1M for the animated actioner "TMNT," off 56%, for a total of $50.7M. Look for a $53-55M final.
Platforming to solid results was the Molly Shannon comedy "Year of the Dog" which bowed in seven New York and Los Angeles sites and grossed an estimated $112,000. The Paramount Vantage release averaged $16,049 and will open in nine additional cities this Friday boosting its theater count to more than 30.
The top ten films grossed an estimated $92.5M which was down 14% from last year when Scary Movie 4 opened at number one with $40.2M; but up 29% from 2005 when The Amityville Horror debuted on top with $23.5M.
Author: Gitesh Pandya, www.BoxOfficeGuru.com
This weekend Hollywood just doesn’t know its limits. Six new releases will jam into an already crowded marketplace on Friday trying to connect with spring moviegoers.
That makes for a whopping 20 new films over a four-week ultracompetitive period. This weekend’s ticket buyers will not have enough time or money to see them all, especially in a relatively weak playing period like mid-April. Friday the 13th may indeed be a terrifying day for the accountants behind some of these freshman flicks.
Call it "Catwoman" vs. "Hudson Hawk." Sony unleashes its latest star-driven thriller "Perfect Stranger" which finds Halle Berry playing an investigative reporter following an ad mogul (Bruce Willis) who may have killed her friend. The R-rated pic boasts the most star wattage of any new film this weekend and that will mean something at the cash registers. The actor combo is unique, appealing, and diverse enough to bring in two different audiences which is always good for business. Poor reviews probably won’t mean too much to the box office. Sony’s marketing push has been commendable and with Spartans, Ninja Turtles, and figure skaters ruling the charts over the last five weeks, many moviegoers will be ready to shift over to this type of film. "Perfect Stranger" invades 2,661 theaters and stands a chance of hitting number one with around $15M.
"At least ‘Hudson Hawk’ didn’t make RT’s ‘Worst of the Worst’ list."
Paramount counters with its own thriller this Friday the 13th with "Disturbia." With a more teen-friendly PG-13 rating, the pic tells the tale of a young man under house arrest who suspects that his neighbor is a serial killer. Shia LaBeouf, Carrie-Anne Moss, and David Morse make up the cast so clearly the film is not being sold on its starpower. "Perfect Stranger" will provide some healthy competition as those looking for a scare, and are 17 or older, will find Berry and Willis worth paying money for. But young teens that have already skated with Will Ferrell may look here for their weekly escape to the movies. Entering about 2,500 theaters, "Disturbia" could scare up around $10M over the weekend.
Yet another Shia LaBeouf movie.
Rookie distributor Chicago Releasing drives into theaters with its maiden film "Redline," an action drama about bored rich kids who drag race for fun. The PG-13 film is being aimed at teenage boys and young men with action-packed commercials and trailers full of hot cars and hotter babes. Eddie Griffin is the only major star in this vehicle so only those who really crave another "Fast and the Furious" flick will make it out. But in a weekend when most new films have been slapped with an R, this one could carve out a small audience of teens. Racing into about 2,000 theaters, "Redline" might finish with roughly $7M this weekend.
No word yet how many expensive cars Eddie Griffin wrecks in "Redline."
With all the films thrown into theaters this year, nobody has offered up a handy dandy Viking flick. That changes this weekend with the action-adventure "Pathfinder," an R-rated pic that looks at a young man’s battle against Norse invaders in North America centuries ago. Following the runaway success of "300," it’s no surprise that Fox is marketing "Pathfinder" as a historical war epic based on a graphic novel. But this new film has nothing on Leonidas and pals. The Viking subject matter is not interesting, the marketing push has been weak, and lead actor Karl Urban is no commercial draw. Attacking 1,720 theaters, "Pathfinder" might find only $5M on opening weekend.
Just one of many decapitations in "Pathfinder."
Lionsgate goes after an adult audience with its new crime drama "Slow Burn" which stars Ray Liotta, LL Cool J, and Taye Diggs. The R-rated film about a district attorney whose colleague gets tied up in a murder case will go out in a moderate wide release with only a mild marketing push behind it. The starpower is not strong enough to attract a sizable crowd and there is little buzz among movie fans. Opening in 1,163 locations, "Slow Burn" could die a quick death at the multiplexes with a $4M bow.
"Slow Burn": Expected to experience a quick death.
In a world overstuffed with animated films, First Look Pictures turns the tables and aims at adults with the R-rated toon "Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters." Based on the animated series on Cartoon Network, the pic is trying to follow in the footsteps of "Borat" by taking a TV property with a cult following and making a long-titled feature film that pushes the envelope. Even the term ‘Movie Film’ seems taken from the Kazakh journalist. "Aqua Teen" scored some extra publicity with its marketing debacle in Boston several weeks ago, however that will not give the film more mainstream appeal. Only the die hard "Aqua" fans are likely to come out here. Competition is stiff this weekend and with the fewest theaters of the six pack of new flicks, this one could get left behind. Landing in over 800 locations, "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" may collect approximately $4M over three days.
"Only 23 more installments of $59.95 to go!"
After back to back wins atop the box office charts, "Blades of Glory" will face a fierce challenge this weekend from the new releases. Few have the starpower that the Will Ferrell comedy packs and last weekend’s strong hold suggests that crowds are being pleased. A 35% fall would give "Blades" $14M for the weekend and $89M in 17 days.
"Meet the Robinsons" and "Are We Done Yet?" have no new competition for the family audience so respectable holds are likely here as well. A 35% drop would give the Disney toon about $11M for a 17-day tally of $70M while a 40% decline for the Ice Cube sequel would give Sony around $9M for the sophomore frame and $33M after 12 days.
LAST YEAR Easter weekend saw the arrival of "Scary Movie 4" which commanded a powerful opening grossing $40.2M in its debut. It was the second largest opening in the spoof comedy series and went on to capture $90.7M for The Weinstein Co. The animated blockbuster "Ice Age: The Meltdown" dropped to second place with a still-potent $20M in its third frame followed by the sports comedy "The Benchwarmers" with $9.9M. Disney saw a disappointing debut in fourth with the animated film "The Wild" which took in just $9.7M on its way to $37.4M. "Take the Lead" rounded out the top five with $6.8M.
Author: Gitesh Pandya, www.BoxOfficeGuru.com
This week at the movies, we’ve got snoops ("Disturbia," starring Shia LaBeouf), temps ("Perfect Stranger," starring Halle Berry and Bruce Willis), Mooninites ("Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters"), and frauds ("The Hoax," starring Richard Gere). What do the critics have to say?
With a plot involving a bored house-arrested teenager, binoculars, and a neighbor who may be a murderer, it’s hard not to imagine "Disturbia" as "Rear Window" for the YouTube generation. Shia LaBeouf plays the James Stewart role as a kid trying to figure out whether he’s witnessing the work of a serial killer — or if it’s just his imagination. Though critics say "Disturbia" rips off Hitchcock, some still praise the film’s tense atmospherics; others call it too predictable, with the exception of one problematic twist late in the game. However, most agree that star Shia LaBeouf is evolving into an engaging screen presence. At 56 percent on the Tomatometer, keep your expectations in check and "Disturbia" may be worth a peep.
"Hey, look, it’s like YouTubing with The Rockettes."
Frankly, we’re getting a little worried about Halle Berry. Ever since she took home the Oscar for "Monster’s Ball," she hasn’t been able to steer clear of mediocre movies. The latest example: "Perfect Stranger," a twisty whodunit that is unlikely to redeem her in the eyes of the scribes. Berry stars as an investigative reporter looking into the murder of a friend; signs seem to point to a powerful, sketchy ad exec (played by Bruce Willis), so she goes undercover as a temp in his firm. There’s nothing wrong with sexy potboilers, but the critics say "Perfect Stranger" is way too convoluted and filled with lame red herrings to work. At 16 percent on the Tomatometer, you may want to avoid this "Stranger."
"Now why wouldn’t they book my flight to Mypos?"
Another month, another swords-and-decapitations-filled epic. "Pathfinder" stars Karl Urban as Ghost, an orphaned Viking boy raised by Native Americans, destined to fight off his ancestors when they come back to pillage pre-Columbus America. Despite a few rousing action sequences, critics are finding lots to take issue with in "Pathfinder" including a non-existent plot, silly dialogue, a sophomoric obsession with gory violence, and even the cinematography, which bathes everything in a washed-out blue. This "Pathfinder" is lost in the woods with a 33 percent Tomatometer.
Forget the Vikings, pneumonia’s going to kill this guy.
If you’re a fan of Adult Swim’s "Aqua Teen Hunger Force," critics say you’ll probably dig its big screen adaptation, "Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters." If you’re not initiated into the world of those wacky anthropomorphic fast food items Meatwad, Frylock, and Master Shake, however, you’re likely to be left cold. Absurdist antics are the order of the day as our heroes seek out a piece of antiquated gym equipment called the Insanoflex. Long story short, critics say if you’re up for wacky non-sequiturs and are untroubled by such pesky cinematic conventions as narrative, "ATHFCMFFT" is as tasty as a Happy Meal. If not, politely ignore the film’s 68 percent Tomatometer.
This movie would’ve been better if it starred Mel Gibson. And Master Blaster.
When it comes to literary scandal, James Frey and Stephen Glass ain’t got nothing on Clifford Irving, whose phony "autobiography" of reclusive billionaire Howard Hughes was a sensation — until Hughes emerged to dispute it. Irving appeared as himself in Orson Welles’ endlessly inventive final film "F for Fake," and now Lasse Hallström has made "The Hoax," a fictional account of the affair that critics say features Richard Gere’s best performance in years. The pundits say Hallström’s direction is deft enough to make the film work as a comedy, a thriller, and an empathetic character study to boot. At 85 percent, this "Hoax" is no joke. In fact, it’s Certified Fresh.
After sunrise, but before blanket turndown service.
Add two more flicks to ever-growing list of movies hidden from critics. "Redline," starring Angus MacFadyen and Eddie Griffin, is set in the world of illegal drag racing, while "Slow Burn" stars Ray Liotta and LL Cool J in a complex murder mystery. Guess those Tomatometers, kids.
"I dare you to make fun of the pompadour."
Also opening this week in limited release: "Red Road," a tense, Hitchcockian meditation on grief, is at 88 percent; the documentary "Jack Smith and the Destruction of Atlantis," about the underground artist, is at 88 percent; "Year of the Dog," a Sundance-approved comedy about the love of man’s best friend starring Molly Shannon, is at 86 percent; the Slamdance-accepted "Rock the Bells," a doc about efforts to stage a Wu-Tang reunion, is at 86 percent; "Private Fears in Public Places," a melodrama about relationships by legendary French director Alain Resnais, is at 82 percent; "Everything’s Gone Green," the tale of a slacker written by Gen-X writer Douglas Coupland, is at 67 percent; and "Lonely Hearts," a noir starring John Travolta, Salma Hayek, and Jared Leto, is at 43 percent.
This one’s strictly for the dogs.
Recent Halle Berry Movies:
57% — X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)
62% — Robots (2005)
9% — Catwoman (2004)
87% — X2: X-Men United (2003)
15% — Gothika (2003)
Recent Richard Gere Movies:
41% — Bee Season (2005)
48% — Shall We Dance? (2004)
86% — Chicago (2002)
47% — Unfaithful (2002)
52% — The Mothman Prophecies (2002)