Critics Consensus

Critical Consensus: "Smokin'" Not Hot, "Release" Hardly A Catch, "Epic" and "Chocolate" Not Screened

by | January 25, 2007 | Comments

The first month of 2007 wraps up with four eclectic releases, featuring hitmen ("Smokin’ Aces", starring Ryan Reynolds, Jeremy Piven, and a million other hip thespians), sad people ("Catch and Release", starring Jennifer Garner and a hatless Kevin Smith), werewolves ("Blood and Chocolate" with Agnes Bruckner), and the almighty Crispin Glover ("Epic Movie"). What do the critics have to say?

In "Smokin’ Aces," Jeremy Piven plays a soon-to-be government snitch, leading a cavalcade of seedy characters who’ve been sent in to kill, or save him. Or maybe just settle with killing each other. This overstuffed movie features a huge list of cool people doing cool action scenes, but fails to give anybody any semblence of identity. It’s one vapid, bloody sequence after another, though critics are distressed over how long the movie takes to set up the convulted plot and action. At 28 percent Tomatometer, "Aces" may be smokin’, but it’s not on fire.

"All we need now is the girl and a pizza place."

Kevin Smith is certainly full of surprises. First the rumor he’ll do a scary flick, and now his apperance in "Catch and Release", a gooey romantic dramadey starring Jennifer Garner as a woman coping with a close death. Kevin Smith is the goofy yet lovable lug, the comic relief in a movie where everyone plays some kind of stock character. It’s a shallow, contrived treatment of a serious subject and with 24 percent on the Tomatometer, "Catch and Release" isn’t reeling in the critcs.

Worst. Survivor. Ever.

We’re going to have you work overtime for this week’s Guess That Tomatometer game. "Epic Movie," which somehow confuses Paris Hilton and "Borat" as part of the genre, is the latest of those spoof movies and the latest movie to not be critic screened.

"I neither deny nor confirm that the snozberries taste like snozberries."

Whenever I hear "Blood and Chocolate", it makes me think Elvis Costello, not babes and werewolves. Maybe the title’s signifcance is explained somewhere in the movie, but it’s hard to tell right now since "Blood and Chocolate" also isn’t being screened for critics. Guess those Tomatometers.

This movie bites.

Speaking of guessing Tomatometers, congratulations to mizzoucritic for coming closest last week to guessing the Tomatometer of "The Hitcher."

Also opening this week in limited release: "Seraphim Falls", a violent Western starring Liam Neeson and Pierce Brosnan, at 54 percent.

Tag Cloud

Prime Video ABC 4/20 strong female leads Holidays vampires Character Guide art house Hollywood Foreign Press Association Sneak Peek Nickelodeon 99% TV Land The Witch TV renewals OWN Discovery Channel TCM marvel cinematic universe IFC Films space Amazon Prime Video HBO Max Anna Paquin justice league dreamworks Image Comics foreign Neflix free movies natural history Lifetime Christmas movies Sundance TV Reality ITV Shondaland Sundance Now Nominations Watching Series werewolf die hard Star Wars Epix toy story IFC Emmys Animation CBS All Access comiccon parents Interview finale FX on Hulu Tags: Comedy sports jurassic park Lucasfilm 2018 japan FX toronto television renewed TV shows Spring TV zombies action-comedy politics documentary Crackle heist movie SXSW cancelled 2020 Rocky royal family crime king kong USA Network Bravo Year in Review batman mcc cancelled TV series RT21 rt labs a nightmare on elm street italian Vudu razzies Trailer CMT worst crossover 2017 dogs The CW best comic Song of Ice and Fire war Syfy Holiday Valentine's Day revenge tv talk hispanic heritage month 2015 93rd Oscars gangster A24 zero dark thirty spanish OneApp The Academy telelvision 21st Century Fox robots scorecard adaptation MSNBC Toys Winter TV live event ViacomCBS twilight cults concert psycho green book Starz Turner Classic Movies Cartoon Network VOD mockumentary debate Britbox Peacock TIFF fast and furious The Walking Dead Marvel Television new star wars movies Shudder social media Drama rt labs critics edition singing competition kaiju hollywood Esquire romantic comedy 2021 73rd Emmy Awards video on demand Ghostbusters disaster TCA 2017 2016 Certified Fresh Television Academy black king arthur aliens Disney remakes See It Skip It aapi YouTube name the review NYCC latino travel Spectrum Originals nfl dexter deadpool doctor who Mary Tyler Moore Biopics TLC Trophy Talk diversity TV One TCA Awards game of thrones thriller A&E screen actors guild hist VH1 YouTube Red TCA Winter 2020 Mindy Kaling Alien talk show boxoffice Pirates slashers Acorn TV Apple Music ratings Family YouTube Premium HBO Go Fantasy Sundance mission: impossible LGBTQ Awards The Arrangement lord of the rings GIFs black comedy HFPA reviews Cannes MTV series target festival GLAAD Comedy Central WarnerMedia japanese superhero Infographic serial killer Columbia Pictures Ellie Kemper dramedy Mary Poppins Returns hispanic casting stoner jamie lee curtis Black Mirror zombie Tarantino HBO rom-coms Christmas American Society of Cinematographers ABC Family Musicals game show Video Games crime drama docudrama ghosts FOX NBA BBC One Western San Diego Comic-Con what to watch LGBT versus Mystery Trivia asian-american children's TV science fiction superman laika Sony Pictures true crime CW Seed theme song marvel comics biopic cars DC streaming service young adult sitcom Podcast Stephen King PBS Premiere Dates halloween feel good blockbusters Fox News Apple TV+ Binge Guide animated El Rey Wes Anderson scary movies composers Captain marvel Creative Arts Emmys Tubi french TCA 79th Golden Globes Awards comics Pacific Islander Marvel mutant 2019 spain wonder woman AMC football discovery Calendar Hallmark Christmas movies Set visit breaking bad miniseries Legendary legend AMC Plus book adaptation christmas movies screenings kids nature classics Warner Bros. Thanksgiving Turner blaxploitation Martial Arts Comic-Con@Home 2021 Lifetime Disney Plus Mary poppins Superheroe critic resources trophy blockbuster cinemax satire Television Critics Association Pride Month new york Rom-Com Freeform Netflix Christmas movies GoT all-time kong james bond New York Comic Con Comics on TV adenture know your critic Country elevated horror spinoff medical drama witnail Reality Competition Endgame Hulu suspense anime RT History Rock Countdown 24 frames Nat Geo Best and Worst Polls and Games Women's History Month Heroines olympics Chernobyl DC Universe Comic Book new zealand based on movie golden globes Spike international Pop TV Classic Film cats live action History popular cancelled television spanish language Sci-Fi Winners directors canceled TV shows BAFTA docuseries Photos Marathons Pet Sematary spy thriller Ovation 007 WGN cancelled TV shows hidden camera Brie Larson SundanceTV news Film Festival mob emmy awards Universal DirecTV sag awards boxing south america Marvel Studios comic book movie comic books Chilling Adventures of Sabrina video DGA worst movies Netflix ID genre ABC Signature Fox Searchlight Mudbound Tumblr CNN sequels critics godzilla Tokyo Olympics Kids & Family obituary President rt archives Elton John Amazon TruTV CBS NBC monster movies Paramount transformers YA X-Men BBC America Emmy Nominations Exclusive Video Horror Logo award winner 20th Century Fox child's play australia Adult Swim romance movie Teen Election trailers canceled joker dark unscripted dceu SDCC Action Quiz movies Amazon Prime Summer festivals reboot Musical comedies saw Film TBS Cosplay binge streaming movies Universal Pictures The Purge Grammys dc Arrowverse FXX rotten movies we love prank 78th Annual Golden Globe Awards Food Network Star Trek Walt Disney Pictures indiana jones streaming teaser Oscars leaderboard Writers Guild of America 45 TV National Geographic women slasher adventure Pop VICE stand-up comedy anthology Hear Us Out crime thriller venice First Look Rocketman golden globe awards scene in color Disney Channel BBC basketball facebook spider-man cartoon indie Red Carpet comic book movies Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Pixar historical drama Hallmark rotten documentaries Extras cops independent Awards Tour vs. Broadway Paramount Plus Comedy Superheroes Paramount Network Funimation police drama Masterpiece high school TV movies technology Fall TV E3 biography Schedule dragons PlayStation supernatural sopranos Travel Channel BET Box Office Super Bowl pirates of the caribbean Academy Awards Tomatazos 71st Emmy Awards Dark Horse Comics richard e. Grant posters USA PaleyFest Fargo films stop motion TNT scary Black History Month Baby Yoda Opinion DC Comics ESPN psychological thriller Disney+ Disney Plus MCU Disney streaming service book fresh First Reviews criterion spider-verse nbcuniversal chucky universal monsters Avengers Apple TV Plus 90s APB quibi IMDb TV Amazon Studios archives franchise sequel The Walt Disney Company BET Awards Crunchyroll 1990s period drama harry potter 72 Emmy Awards cooking Showtime Lionsgate E! Instagram Live political drama halloween tv