Critics Consensus

Critical Consensus: "Crank" Is Well-Ranked; "Illusionist" Is Magic, "Crossover" Is An Air-Ball, "Wicker Man" Gets Burned

by | August 31, 2006 | Comments

This week at the movies, we’ve got hoopsters with big dreams ("Crossover," starring Anthony Mackie), scary goings-on on remote islands ("The Wicker Man," starring Nicolas Cage), fast, fast vehicles ("Crank," starring Jason Statham and Amy Smart), and magic ("The Illusionist," starring Edward Norton and Jessica Biel). What do the critics say?

If you want realism, go rent "The Bicycle Thief." Critics say "Crank" is a ludicrously over-the-top action flick with nary a moment of probability. And that’s a good thing. The story involves a hit man (Statham) who must stay awake to complete his mission and get out of the business. The critics say the film makes precious little sense and eschews both the laws of physics and political correctness. They also note that it is a lot of fun, with terrific action sequences and a knowing sense of humor. Why this movie wasn’t shown to critics beforehand is beyond us, since at 75 percent on the Tomatometer it’s the best reviewed unscreened film of the year, beating out "Snakes on a Plane" (69 percent).


It appears Jason Statham’s alarm isn’t working again.

"The Wicker Man" wasn’t screened for critics either, and this time, it looks like there was a good reason for that. Critics say Neil LaBute‘s remake of the 1973 cult classic subtracts most of the subtext of the original and replaces it with tons of unintentional laughs. Cage stars as a cop who gets ensnared in sinister rituals on a remote island while searching for his girlfriend’s missing child. Scribes say the film was misconceived from the get-go and contains a startling amount of sexism. At 11 percent on the Tomatometer, this "Wicker Man" is getting burned. It’s also well below the original (89 percent).


Movie critics tried a bunch of disguises in an attempt to sneak into screanings of "The Wicker Man."

One of the reasons streetball is so much fun to watch is its sheer unpredictability. The critics say the opposite is the case with the hoops drama "Crossover." The film tells the story of Noah (Mackie), a talented kid who hopes to get to med school with an assist from his hoops scholarship, but must deal with the full court press of some of his relationships. The critics are treating "Crossover" the way Dikembe Mutombo would handle a shot in his direction. They say the film is too by-the-numbers to be dramatic. At zero percent on the Tomatometer, "Crossover" is tied with "Zoom" (each of which have 46 rotten reviews) for the title of worst reviewed film of the year.


"Run, Anthony Mackie! Run for your life! Get help!"

"The Illusionist" goes wide this week, and the critics are largely under the spell of this Sundance-approved period mystery. The film tells the tale of Eisenheim (Norton), a magician who runs afoul with the authorities for his feats of illusion and his romance with the prince’s fiancée (Biel). The scribes are praising "The Illusionist" for its remarkable set design, sweeping romance, and its twisty plot. It currently stands at 75 percent on the Tomatometer, good enough for Certified Fresh status.


In "The Illusionist," Ed Norton plays a man outstanding in his field — or is it out walking? (Thank you. I’ll be here all week.)

Also out this week in limited release: hipster fave Andrew Bujalski‘s no-budget comedy "Mutual Appreciation" is at 100 percent on the Tomatometer; Ric Burns‘ "Andy Warhol: A Documentary Film" is also at 100 percent; that lovable collie "Lassie" is at 90 percent; Kirby Dick‘s guerilla investigation of the MPAA, "This Film Is Not Yet Rated," is at 83 percent; Zhang Yimou‘s latest, "Riding Alone for Thousands of Miles," is at 69 percent; Edward Burns‘ latest examination of suburban romantic angst, "Looking for Kitty," is at 38 percent; and Mike Judge‘s "Idiocracy," which is in limited release, was not screened for critics.


"Mutual Appreciation": As Sonic Youth might say, confusion is next and next after that is the truth.

Recent Neil LaBute Movies:
————————————
65% — The Shape of Things (2003)
64% — Possession (2002)
83% — Nurse Betty (2000)
76% — Your Friends and Neighbors (1999)
89% — In the Company of Men (1997)

Recent Jason Statham Movies:
—————————————
15% — London (2006)
27% — Revolver (2006)
50% — The Transporter 2 (2005)
73% — The Italian Job (2003)
53% — The Transporter (2002)

Recent Basketball Movies:
——————————–
90% — The Heart of the Game (2006)
58% — Glory Road (2006)
69% — Through the Fire (2005)
14% — Rebound (2005)
64% — Coach Carter (2005)

Tag Cloud

Apple TV Plus Best and Worst sports Western worst hispanic heritage month ITV GLAAD cats HBO Grammys RT History children's TV wonder woman Heroines Box Office FX on Hulu Adult Swim king arthur cancelled television DC Universe dramedy The Purge based on movie spinoff video new york hollywood Amazon Prime Video superman 93rd Oscars 2016 historical drama japanese The Walt Disney Company TCM Mudbound Extras Binge Guide 90s Polls and Games crime thriller Stephen King 4/20 dark Marvel Television 71st Emmy Awards directors Lucasfilm breaking bad italian GIFs posters supernatural Hallmark USA Network Toys HBO Max comiccon Mary Tyler Moore NBC golden globe awards satire TruTV french zombie rotten Alien dc slashers award winner Horror Britbox reviews NBA women godzilla harry potter American Society of Cinematographers rt labs Fall TV TIFF spider-man period drama rotten movies we love Holiday heist movie cancelled USA Dark Horse Comics know your critic south america TLC live action TV One Marathons kaiju screenings reboot true crime mob natural history scene in color The CW films AMC canceled Comedy Central Rock Fox Searchlight kong Trophy Talk Drama asian-american vampires Tokyo Olympics psychological thriller leaderboard Comic Book HBO Go Television Academy Podcast Universal disaster Anna Paquin PaleyFest The Academy dreamworks superhero ABC Signature Winter TV Elton John Photos Mary poppins A24 2017 79th Golden Globes Awards dexter documentary social media marvel cinematic universe cars parents Valentine's Day See It Skip It documentaries Lifetime fast and furious james bond Film Festival Sundance TV technology new zealand 21st Century Fox Crunchyroll archives Warner Bros. Sci-Fi teaser golden globes science fiction comic books spanish Pacific Islander Lionsgate Writers Guild of America A&E concert hist Classic Film mockumentary Disney Plus biography critic resources El Rey versus Action festivals Chernobyl dceu latino australia halloween tv Musicals FXX boxoffice gangster IMDb TV Travel Channel ABC Netflix zombies witnail child's play OWN zero dark thirty PBS football adventure scary movies IFC Films binge revenge laika Trivia Turner razzies AMC Plus cancelled TV series jurassic park cops Infographic justice league facebook ghosts CW Seed docuseries blaxploitation chucky green book Arrowverse BBC First Look psycho Premiere Dates pirates of the caribbean all-time Interview Pixar christmas movies Reality richard e. Grant NYCC docudrama sopranos Vudu singing competition Amazon Studios 99% WGN kids Set visit Hulu Super Bowl Brie Larson worst movies First Reviews action-comedy GoT Film elevated horror political drama Fargo anthology blockbuster classics 007 spanish language free movies hispanic ratings VICE Tarantino CBS Emmy Nominations festival Food Network movies Marvel art house Rom-Com unscripted Nominations Rocky BET Netflix Christmas movies DC streaming service 2015 king kong Pop TV suspense mission: impossible Schedule 1990s deadpool casting Comics on TV Spring TV Freeform Rocketman E3 screen actors guild Comic-Con@Home 2021 thriller legend Ellie Kemper Television Critics Association YouTube Premium Tags: Comedy international 78th Annual Golden Globe Awards aliens Star Wars Endgame MSNBC nbcuniversal Marvel Studios mcc royal family game of thrones Thanksgiving a nightmare on elm street crime drama President Hear Us Out lord of the rings Holidays Disney+ Disney Plus Christmas video on demand LGBT politics theme song Crackle halloween book adaptation MTV movie emmy awards The Arrangement Sundance die hard Teen X-Men scary basketball Pop olympics spain Awards Tour discovery Nat Geo batman OneApp streaming movies animated Pet Sematary Comedy Trailer Tumblr rom-coms criterion Emmys diversity comics Quiz blockbusters Sundance Now Winners dogs HFPA live event Turner Classic Movies indie History SundanceTV Chilling Adventures of Sabrina prank toronto critics Acorn TV BBC One Esquire composers New York Comic Con Red Carpet serial killer crime slasher Wes Anderson sequels 2020 stoner debate Fox News jamie lee curtis National Geographic 45 rt archives black streaming 72 Emmy Awards Spectrum Originals DirecTV Musical Cannes aapi Oscars police drama talk show Instagram Live The Witch Disney Channel comic book movies sag awards adaptation canceled TV shows Biopics monster movies Peacock biopic Music Logo Shondaland sequel Kids & Family marvel comics VH1 The Walking Dead Apple Apple TV+ Legendary Paramount Network boxing rt labs critics edition BET Awards adenture Funimation series Ovation cancelled TV shows transformers Captain marvel Star Trek ViacomCBS SDCC Superheroes fresh BAFTA Pirates vs. Black Mirror RT21 Superheroe tv talk Summer 73rd Emmy Awards Mindy Kaling Paramount Plus CBS All Access Hollywood Foreign Press Association E! 20th Century Fox anime cinemax venice target Black History Month comedies WarnerMedia spider-verse Columbia Pictures twilight TBS stand-up comedy feel good young adult TCA Winter 2020 Disney streaming service Mary Poppins Returns Sony Pictures Prime Video black comedy 2018 Ghostbusters Starz Tomatazos Syfy independent TV comic book movie Certified Fresh VOD sitcom trophy DC Comics PlayStation Academy Awards Shudder TCA Awards CNN SXSW comic YouTube Red war BBC America nfl cartoon quibi space indiana jones robots romance Mystery Character Guide telelvision Election TCA Song of Ice and Fire mutant japan renewed TV shows Image Comics DGA Reality Competition ID Country scorecard joker doctor who TNT Universal Pictures Epix romantic comedy Cosplay foreign IFC 2019 remakes CMT ABC Family nature name the review Opinion Sneak Peek Lifetime Christmas movies 24 frames Amazon saw Awards franchise TV movies Showtime cults universal monsters toy story APB Avengers Baby Yoda Year in Review finale television TV Land Family Hallmark Christmas movies trailers FX Amazon Prime Calendar best FOX popular Exclusive Video obituary game show Cartoon Network 2021 cooking Discovery Channel Paramount stop motion Bravo werewolf news Fantasy crossover LGBTQ spy thriller Animation new star wars movies travel Creative Arts Emmys Disney Watching Series Neflix TV renewals MCU YA Nickelodeon Pride Month Broadway YouTube book miniseries Countdown Martial Arts genre hidden camera Walt Disney Pictures what to watch medical drama Masterpiece dragons strong female leads San Diego Comic-Con TCA 2017 high school ESPN Women's History Month Tubi Spike Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Video Games