Critics Consensus

Critical Consensus: Chuck is No Good, Sydney White is No Fairy Tale, Eastern Exceeds Promises

Plus, guess Resident Evil Tomatometer!

by | September 20, 2007 | Comments

This week at the movies, we’ve got cursed couples (Good Luck Chuck,
starring Dane Cook and
Jessica Alba), a collegiate Snow White (Sydney White,
starring Amanda Bynes), the London underworld (Eastern Promises, starring
Viggo Mortensen and
Naomi Watts), and post-apocalyptic zombie killing (Resident
Evil: Apocalypse
, starring
Milla Jovovich). What do the critics have to say?

Romantic comedies are often the most difficult films to pull off; you need
palpable chemistry between the leads, inspired jokes, and a delicate sense of
comic timing. Good luck finding those attributes in
Good Luck Chuck
critics say. Dane Cook stars as a guy who’s the victim of a curse, one in which
any woman who dates him finds true love — with someone else. Enter Jessica Alba
as a penguin-lover who really digs him. Can she break the curse? Critics say the
movie seems to be under a spell of its own, one in which potential laughs are
squandered by means of rude humor, shopworn slapstick, and an ultimately cheesy
resolution. At seven percent on the Tomatometer, Chuck this one to the

"Why yes, I am interested in renewing my subscription to
The Atlantic Monthly."

Sydney White, the titular heroine of this Snow White update, might find herself
singing, "Someday, my prince will come." Or perhaps, "Someday, a bunch of
princely movie critics may give my movie a good review."
Sydney White
Amanda Bynes as a college freshman who has to contend with a malicious sorority
queen while whipping a frat of geeks into social shape. While critics agree
Bynes is a talented actress who’s rescued movies in the past, her comic skills
go largely to waste here on a script that functions completely on stereotypes
and does little to plant new twists on the classic
fairy tale. In fact, the scribes say the unsubtle references to Snow White lore
in the movie are jarring and distracting. At 46 percent Tomatometer, Sydney
is one poisoned apple.

"Tomatometers that big gotta be fake."

With Eastern Promises,
David Cronenberg continues to utilize genre
trappings for his singular dark, bold vision. Promises stars Viggo
Mortensen as a mysterious yet charismatic Russian hitman whose loyalties are put
into question when he encounters Naomi Watts’s character. Critics praise
‘s tight pacing, grisly images that are shocking but short of
exploitation, and Mortensen’s daring performance.  And a fight scene in a
bathhouse between Mortensen and a group of thugs is being touted as one of the most impressive action set piecess in recent memory.  At a
Certified Fresh 86 percent, Cronenberg Promises a good time. (Check out our interview with Cronenberg and Mortensen

"So what makes you qualified to be an American Apparel model?"

Are video game adaptations headed the way of the eggplant wizard? That’s up for debate, but
it appears that the people behind
Resident Evil: Extinction
prepared for a critical ice age; what other reason for not screening the movie
before its release? As with the first two Evil flicks, Extinction
stars Milla Jovovich as a zombie killer roaming a post-apocalyptic landscape.
Kids, put down your biology textbooks and Guess that Tomatometer. (Oh, and be
sure to check out our report from the Resident Evil: Extinction set

"Just give me some green herb and no one gets hurt."

Also opening this week in limited release: The Brazilian import
the gritty story of a group of female rappers overcoming poverty, is at 88
percent; Sean Penn‘s
Into the Wild, starring Emile Hirsch as a young man
who ditches civilization for the wilderness, is at 85 percent;
Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
, a revisionist look
at the famed outlaw starring
Brad Pitt and
Casey Affleck, is at 84 percent;
Last Winter
, a supernatural/philosophical horror film set in Alaska, is at
80 percent;
Beauty Remains
, a story of
two sisters in love with the same man on the cusp of the Chinese Revolution, is
at 67 percent;
Adrift in Manhattan
, about profound encounters between
strangers in the Big Apple, is at 60 percent;
The Jane Austen Book Club
, a tale of book club members who
find their lives paralleling the text of the great author, is at 58 percent; and

, a drama about young women sold into sexual slavery, is at 33

"Now give me some sensibility, with a little pride and/or
prejudice thrown in."

Finally, props to our old buddy
Mizzoucritic, who came the closest to guessing
‘ 25 percent Tomatometer. If you see MC, be sure to spot him for
breakfast at Ron’s Country Boy, the ideal eatery for celebrating a hard-fought

Recent Viggo Mortensen Movies:
87% — A History of Violence (2005)
46% — Hidalgo (2004)
94% —
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
97% —
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
94% —
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

Recent Jessica Alba Movies:
40% — The Ten (2007)
36% —
The Fantastic Four: The Rise of the Silver Surfer
21% — Into the Blue (2005)
26% — Fantastic Four (2005)
77% — Sin City (2005)

Tag Cloud

45 toronto kaiju Hallmark Christmas movies Polls and Games Disney YA animated critic resources singing competition Paramount Network award winner Prime Video DirecTV GLAAD wonder woman See It Skip It Lifetime Crunchyroll Rom-Com zombie live action Pacific Islander Marathons Spectrum Originals Indigenous Sony Best Picture cooking Elton John 2019 foreign sopranos children's TV 4/20 theme song Heroines football Amazon Studios justice league docudrama Quiz genre Television Critics Association Acorn TV jamie lee curtis latino Awards nfl cancelled television FX USA Network San Diego Comic-Con crime drama Esquire Spring TV YouTube Premium vs. stoner series Travel Channel dc posters festival ratings Neflix laika Britbox Mary Poppins Returns south america Video Games marvel comics Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt superhero hispanic Ghostbusters RT21 fresh DGA VICE El Rey serial killer satire facebook 2016 scene in color film series nature royal family Brie Larson green book parents dramedy BBC America AMC interviews Musicals Extras PaleyFest TV Land The Witch Star Wars YouTube Tomatazos Best Actor canceled TV shows james bond Musical Reality Competition documentaries Freeform comic books richard e. Grant based on movie child's play IFC Films cults biography Food Network Fox Searchlight Black Mirror Comics on TV die hard IFC hidden camera game of thrones Holiday Thanksgiving halloween docuseries Marvel Studios Valentine's Day dragons mcc period drama 72 Emmy Awards boxing tv talk Ellie Kemper TCM legend Paramount Bravo target scene in color video Star Trek TV History BET adventure cancelled The Purge stand-up comedy broadcast Spike adenture DC Comics 79th Golden Globes Awards new york Universal Pictures christmas movies miniseries travel Comedy Central TNT Native thriller werewolf LGBTQ Walt Disney Pictures crossover Turner Film diversity National Geographic venice book Showtime Apple TV+ hispanic heritage month Premiere Dates Country fast and furious Set visit streamig Universal versus WGN 2017 Shondaland Amazon Prime Video 90s telelvision WarnerMedia high school comiccon elevated horror Writers Guild of America teaser godzilla FXX Hallmark 007 supernatural Stephen King news Character Guide Interview NBA debate USA sports Disney streaming service anime Chernobyl Mudbound screenings Rocketman Disney Channel basketball toy story quibi Comic Book Fargo asian-american Warner Bros. chucky book adaptation razzies Box Office black hollywood Super Bowl Peacock The CW PlayStation aliens war popular target nbcuniversal italian Columbia Pictures Legendary feel good sitcom Family classics HFPA trailers 2021 sequel cancelled TV shows Epix 2015 CBS TCA Awards ghosts cancelled TV series psycho CW Seed Song of Ice and Fire Certified Fresh Sundance TV comedies joker mutant Vudu Binge Guide festivals Sundance Starz zombies dceu Teen Podcast Emmy Nominations summer preview spider-verse Tokyo Olympics rotten movies we love First Reviews Hulu Holidays YouTube Red Superheroe spanish game show Amazon dogs spider-man renewed TV shows Arrowverse emmy awards golden globes Toys Crackle Pop TV scary movies Comedy name the review comic book movie scene in color series Nominations Tags: Comedy discovery worst movies OWN screen actors guild sequels Oscar BBC Adult Swim space dark concert comics Drama Sundance Now worst Grammys live event Paramount Pictures politics obi wan composers BAFTA DC Universe Countdown Fall TV Cannes cartoon IMDb TV Masterpiece Instagram Live crime action-comedy Chilling Adventures of Sabrina Women's History Month Action historical drama Election E3 Summer MGM Captain marvel Syfy Emmys harry potter Western cinemax comic Dark Horse Comics Mary poppins Rocky 1990s A24 trophy TV renewals Paramount Plus Fantasy Apple king arthur Funimation spain heist movie Image Comics Turner Classic Movies NYCC disaster X-Men 21st Century Fox criterion ESPN Star Wars Celebration Awards Tour Watching Series Anna Paquin young adult talk show mob movies Calendar Classic Film sag awards vampires Nat Geo spanish language blockbusters scary TruTV what to watch reviews indie Sony Pictures Nickelodeon halloween tv TCA Winter 2020 universal monsters directors Discovery Channel American Society of Cinematographers Martial Arts Ovation boxoffice streaming movies CMT Sneak Peek new zealand SXSW binge SDCC breaking bad blockbuster dexter stop motion political drama hist batman casting Netflix Christmas movies monster movies 2020 VH1 Lionsgate TCA 2017 South by Southwest Film Festival HBO ID Lucasfilm Baby Yoda twilight Pirates Endgame french Animation science fiction Mary Tyler Moore 24 frames Winter TV biopic TBS true crime TV movies cops best aapi superman Mystery japanese APB RT History natural history slashers HBO Max medical drama PBS Pop marvel cinematic universe 73rd Emmy Awards leaderboard television Superheroes Trailer all-time GoT Pixar Comic-Con@Home 2021 The Academy witnail CNN 99% reboot Hear Us Out DC streaming service pirates of the caribbean Music Mindy Kaling scorecard 94th Oscars dreamworks BET Awards Logo Disney Plus police drama Sci-Fi critics CBS All Access TCA ViacomCBS crime thriller new star wars movies AMC Plus rt labs Alien art house rom-coms social media kids ITV Christmas Pet Sematary Avengers mockumentary gangster Best and Worst films cars romantic comedy remakes 20th Century Fox ABC lord of the rings franchise revenge Disney+ Disney Plus adaptation ABC Signature women technology Best Director First Look king kong Academy Awards Amazon Prime Focus Features saw Shudder A&E FOX Lifetime Christmas movies australia Wes Anderson anthology Black History Month prank The Walking Dead SXSW 2022 Tarantino Cartoon Network documentary olympics MCU Tubi cats summer TV preview archives OneApp spinoff Hollywood Foreign Press Association NBC VOD unscripted rt archives psychological thriller TLC TV One rotten MSNBC Kids & Family romance Fox News SundanceTV blaxploitation GIFs 93rd Oscars Marvel Television 2018 international doctor who Biopics video on demand free movies The Arrangement Winners robots jurassic park summer TV streaming scene in color finale slasher independent Horror 71st Emmy Awards HBO Go Exclusive Video japan Netflix Apple TV Plus Film Festival know your critic spy thriller indiana jones 78th Annual Golden Globe Awards Cosplay zero dark thirty strong female leads Pride Month Reality Trivia FX on Hulu a nightmare on elm street ABC Family LGBT mission: impossible New York Comic Con BBC One Opinion Oscars President TIFF comic book movies Schedule Broadway Best Actress black comedy golden globe awards E! Tumblr rt labs critics edition MTV Year in Review Photos Geeked Week Rock Trophy Talk The Walt Disney Company kong canceled Creative Arts Emmys transformers obituary deadpool Television Academy suspense movie Red Carpet Infographic Marvel